A Few of my Favourite Things

When you're a new or soon-to-be new parent, there's so much you're tempted to buy. There are so many books out there filled with so many product suggestions (although I found Robin Barker's "Baby Love" to be quite practical), it can be a little overwhelming. When I had Heike, I bought so many things that we just never used. Then there were the things we rushed out to get due to desperation, and I promptly fell in love with and proposed marriage to. The lifesavers. And I'm going to share them with you, because I'm nice like that.

Available at Mothercare for $39.95

1) The Love Me Baby Wrap - If you have nice friends with babies, you may have heard people extolling the wonders of this little wrap before. If like me your friends are relatively clueless about babies, then I'm going to give you some excellent free advice - buy a Love Me Baby Wrap. Buy three. Then buy three in larger sizes. Go home, put this on your baby, and enjoy some sleeping baby time. Now I know it won't work quite like this and I know all babies are different, but this little ripper SAVED MY LIFE to the extent that when Heike got bigger and was too old to be wrapped, I was actually terrified about laying the LM Wrap to rest. It kept ME up at night just thinking about it. She was fine, by the way, although she still sleeps with her arms up in the position you see on your left. Unique.

Freaky looking, but just $28.84 at Big W

2) The Fisher Price Seahorse - Um, I'm speechless. Purely because words cannot express how deeply fond I am of the Fisher Price Seahorse. Friends of mine actually brought this to the hospital when Heike was born, and I didn't really give it a second thought...until 3 hours later when she wouldn't sleep and I would have tried anything short of nothing to get her to sleep. I mean at this point I was squeezing tiny drops of milk out of my boobs so it was really desperate times. Anyway, you may have also read that Heike never really slept during the day, and without this seahorse I wouldn't have even been able to get her into the bassinet without a meltdown. Interestingly the product description online says "After five minutes the music fades, lights dim, and baby can drift off to dreamland". Good luck with that! Lots of shushing and patting was also required but the seahorse was truly fantastic. The day it ran out of batteries, I literally had tears in my eyes. Negatives? I couldn't work out how to change the batteries. But then again I have lost my car keys on top of my car...Oh oh, funny aside to this story, at my first mother's group meeting I raved on and on about my "Fisher & Paykel Seahorse". Ummmmmm yes Zoe that is a brand of WASHING MACHINE. Sadly I was trying so hard to be likable, but immediately unveiled my slightly dopey side.

$49.95 from Mothercare

3) An old school bouncer - Whenever I walk into one of those mega baby stores, I am blown away by the number and variety of bouncers you can buy. Plastic, wooden, rocking, rotating contraptions, and really they're all a waste of money. Because my old fashioned Bouncinette, handed down through a few generations, was totally kickass. It's so light that you can plonk baby in it and carry him or her around the house, chatting and being involved in household activities. I may have even baked a cake while Heike sat babbling at me in her bouncer. Lots of bubs can even be rocked off to sleep in these beauties, but not mine (not without a seahorse and a Love Me wrap anyway!). Still, it got us through those early days. Having said that, the floor is also an excellent option for babies. It's free and lots of babies who spend time on the floor end up being early movers and shakers. Which my daughter is most definitely NOT but more on that in the future.

What must-have items saved your life when your kids were little?

Z xx

The Art of Judgement

Let's admit it: mothers judge other mothers. I'm not saying all mothers and I'm not saying all the time, but it's something that I notice rather frequently both in daily life and in the media. Breastfeeding, starting solids, bedtime routines, play activities - we all do it differently and we all think our way is best, because of course we only want the best for the people we love most.

When reading blogs for women and mothers online, I'm constantly baffled by the level of judgement out there. For example, a comment relating to a woman who had dropped her kids at the library alone - "The fact that you would let your child wander around a library alone is sickening". Um, that's sickening? Really? Don't hold back, people.

Some say that there's nothing wrong with judgement, that it's just "having an opinion". Personally, I think there's a big difference between having an opinion and passing judgement. That's why they're not, linguistically, the same thing. Having an opinion is saying "Breastfeeding is better for your child than formula feeding," whereas judgement is looking at another woman and thinking "I can't believe she's feeding her baby formula - what a terrible mother."

The face of mothers everywhere

I might be giving women and mothers a hard time here, but I genuinely don't think men are judgemental beasts. It became clear to me at the local pool recently. It was a stinking hot day and of course half our suburb had decided they felt like a swim, so we'd had to park far enough from the pool that we might as well have walked. My husband and I carried one baby, one fully stocked nappy bag, one overflowing beach bag and one handbag all the way to the pool, only to get there and realise we hadn't brought Heike's hat. Neither of us was particularly keen to draw the short straw of going all the way back to the car, but luckily the pool has a large undercover area. Still, I decided that I couldn't take Heike into the water without a hat.

Justus thought this was ludicrous.

"It's so hot! And she'll only be in there for five minutes before she starts screaming. And she would have ripped her hat off anyway!"

"But all the other mothers will be staring at me thinking 'What kind of woman doesn't bring her baby a hat?'"

This prompted Justus to give me one of his drawn-out exaggerated eye rolls and a giant sigh. He absolutely refused to believe that any woman would give us a second thought, let alone ruminate on the failures of my parenting.

But I knew they would.

I recounted the story to a girlfriend with a baby girl the same age as Heike a few days later. When I told her what I thought the other mothers were thinking, she said yes, they probably were judging me. She got it. Because she's a woman too.

So why do women and mothers just know they're being judged? Well, because we ourselves judge. Yep, that's right, guilty. As much as I constantly bang on about not judging others, and not knowing other peoples personal circumstances, my evil little subconscious is constantly finding things to judge people on before my caring, conscious self can talk her down.

Recently I was at a mother's group catch up, the perfect breeding ground for judgemental thoughts. One clearly exhausted Mum said she just didn't know how to occupy and entertain her very active little boy.

"I think I'm creating a television addict!" she said. "I end up sitting him in front of the TV all day!"

We all nodded understandingly, but looking around I could see scores of twitching eyebrows just dying to be raised. Sure enough, as soon as this woman left, it began.

"Do you put Lucy in front of the television?" "I read no screen time until two years old!" "Did she say she puts him there all day?"

And I can't say I'm any better. I did have those same thoughts.

All this has prompted the inevitable question: why are we so judge-y? Psychology professors in America have recently linked judgmental thoughts to narcissistic behaviour and low self esteem. Professor Dustin Wood and his colleagues found that judging others negatively is associated with "a huge suite of negative personality traits" including general unhappiness, antisocial behaviour and neurotic tendencies. Conversely, viewing others positively is generally associated with happy, stable individuals.

I don't buy it though. So many happy, balanced, loving women I know judge others all the time. My theory is that there is just so much information out there, in books and in the media, telling women ho they should parent and what is right and wrong, that the moment someone strays from this they are judged as inferior. The amount of times my own mother has said "We didn't have parenting books in my day" is irritatingly high, however she does have a point. Maybe if we all trusted our instincts, and those of our capable fellow women, we'd be less inclined to pass judgement so quickly.

Be sure to comment if you think I'm a totally crap mother for writing this when I should be folding washing ;-)

Z xx

Pram I Am

When I was about six months pregnant, Justus and I started looking at prams. The prams we were interested in reflected our personalities - me, as a fashion follower with an overwhelming need to "fit in", wanting a Bugaboo, and Justus, who loves design and has VERY expensive tastes, on team Stokke. The prices of each are fairly comparable, but the Stokke is a bit more pricey and very design focused.

As he always does, Justus won the pram war and we bought a big expensive blue Stokke Xplory. The problem with buying prams when you're pregnant is that you really have no idea what you want or need out of a pram. You know what kind of person YOU are and what you enjoy doing, but there's no way of knowing what kind of baby you're going to have and what they're going to want from a pram. Also as a first time parent, you just generally have no idea about the logistics of getting out and about with a bub.

Before I launch into this, I have to say that there is so much I love about our Stokke. For one, Heike has always slept great in it and seems to find it comfortable. Now that she's bigger, she can sit up in it at the table and have a great view of the world. It's light to push, has a great turning circle and, let's face it, it looks snazzy. BUT... It's so big! And clunky! It takes up so much room in the boot, and so much time to take apart and put back together. It's fairly unstable on the rough pathways in the area where we live, and near impossible to get up and down stairs. In general, it's just a little bit too complicated.

Before I had Heike, I always thought fold out strollers looked kind of ugly. And uncomfortable. And hard to push. But in recent months, I've found myself looking longingly at mothers pushing around simple Maclaren strollers. Gradually my longing turned into obsession, which turned into nagging Justus in my favourite way, which is basically helpfully pointing out everything that annoys me about our current pram and pointing out benefits of the one I want instead. Fun for him! Anyway, last week victory was mine! He finally relented ("Just get it!!") and I trotted off to Baby Bunting to get myself a Maclaren. As much as I love Baby Bunting the lady there was kind of rude to me, not grasping my NEED for extendable handles (live a few days at 6 feet and get back to me) so I ended up heading to Toys R Us, where I picked up a Techno XT in a discontinued colour for $150 off. Which made the extendable handles a little more affordable.

So, what think I of my new Maclaren? I LOVE IT! It's soooo good. Light, easy to assemble, easy to push and plenty of storage. My reccomendation to new mums would be to borrow or buy a second hand pram that is more newborn friendly (the Techno XT meets newborn standards but personally I think it doesn't look as nice for sleepy newborns, and I loved having Heike facing me as a teeny bubba) and then at four, five months, get a stroller! They rock!! Heike loves it too, as you can see...

Z x

My New Heart

I went for a wee shop in the city today with a girlfriend - we met for coffee but inevitably ducked into a few stores - and purchased myself a beautiful new bracelet.

I'd bought from the same jewellery designer before, years ago at Bondi Markets - a necklace adorned with a cute little "Z" that I wear all the time. I'd thought about getting a "J" to go with it and had their things in the back of my mind when I was pregnant. But today I walked past the store and was reminded just how cute their stuff is.

I just couldn't resist this gorgeous little heart engraved with the initial of my beloved:

Silver plated initial heart, $39

Now typically I have thrown out the bag from the store in my haste to get this on my wrist, but I feel like maybe it was called Rejuvinate or some other uplifting word beginning with "R" like Restore, Resurrect or Reinvent...or something. But it's one of those little designer stores in the Urban section of Westfield Sydney. The great thing is that they have their stuff available in sterling silver/18k gold OR if you're cheap or unsure, you can get it for $39 and it's just plated.

I got my Z in sterling silver because I knew it would be a keeper - I'd also love a keepsake for Heike but was just not sure if I would wear the bracelet or if I would find it gathering rust at the back of my bathroom cupboard as I so frequently do many of my nice pieces. So for now I've bought the $39 version, and will bug Justus for a sterling silver one if I get enough wear out of it.

So if you want your wrist to look as awesome as mine, you can get this! Or not! You could get lots of other cool bracelets! Yeah!

As a bit of a postscript, my Mum bought a gold plated necklace from this designer years ago when she was starting out, and the plating came off after the first wear. I agreed with her that this wasn't really acceptable (if you're going to pay for a necklace, plated or not, you'd expect it to last more than one wear) so I went with Mum to take it back and the designer was REALLY rude and unhelpful. The necklace was barely worn and we would have been happy to exchange, but she basically had a go at Mum about it and it was really uncomfortable. Still, I think her stuff is awesome and would buy it again, but don't really feel like giving her a free pass on that one!

Z x

Num nums

I've always been pretty into cooking and extremely into food, so it's no surprise that my love of each of these things has intensified now that I'm a Mum. For starters, I'm so tired food is my go-to pick me up. As well as that, I'm trying to get rid of some of that baby weight, so it's become important for me to find yummy dishes that are also healthy. Finally, let's be honest, there's just not that much else going on in my life!

Justus and I are currently trying to cook different meals and recipes each night ("We are" could loosely translate to "I am" - although he picks some of them and gladly eats them) which kind of makes us like that girl from Julia & Julia. Except we don't do Julia Childs. Anyway, this of course leads to the occasional kitchen disaster but more frequently the discovery of easy, delicious recipes that we can add to our rotation when we decide to stop trying new things. Which at this rate may be never!

Here are two I've loved lately:

Red Wine Chilli Lentils w/Barbequed Veal Chops

 

Yummoooo!

Recipe:

2/3 cup puy lentils

Salt

1 red onion, sliced

1 red chilli,  seeded and finely chopped

1/2 teaspoon garam masala

1 teaspoon ground cumin

2 tablespoons olive oil

1/2 cup red wine

1 x 400g tin chopped tomatoes

4 veal chops

Parsley, to serve

Method:

This was super easy! Basically bring 500mL water and the lentils to the boil, and then simmer until tender. When tender, drain.

In a frypan, heat oil and add onion, garam masala and cumin, and cook until onion soft and spices smell DELISH. Then add tomatoes, wine, 1/2 cup water and CHILLI. Cook for five mins, then add lentils and simmer for 10 mins.

Meanwhile, cook the chops on your barbie' however you like them done (medium rare is my preference).

Stir parsley through lentils and serve. EAT!!

I made a few changes, not many, but first of all I added more chilli. If a recipe has "chilli" in the title I expect it to be noticeably hot, but this just had a mild flavour of chilli. So I added about a gazillion teaspoons of chilli flakes but you could maybe just add one or two...I also used veal rib cutlets which was maybe a bit SILLY as I'd never cooked them before and they were slightly underdone for me (not so for Justus but then he'd eat anything). Finally, I didn't use parsley because, um, I didn't have any but the lentils were still DEL and to be honest I think parsley is a really overrated herb. 

OH and I made a little side salad, see what I did there? Yeah.

Moving on.

Battered flathead fillets w/sweet potato chips 

OMNOMNOM

Okay so this is not SOOOO healthy but guess what guys? I made this sucker up myself! Yeah! Alright it's essentially fish and chips but I made my OWN batter up and I invented these chips which fair enough have probably been "invented" by tons of people around the world but LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT, 'kay?

Right, now. What did I do here? 

Fish:

Flathead fillets - I bought enough for two peeps but you could buy however many you need for however many bros you got. 

1 cup flour

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup water

Oregano

Thyme

Salt & Pepper

Oil for frying (seed based oils e.g. Canola are best for frying but I used peanut oil because it was all I had and I only decided to fry the fish at the last minute - turned out fab so you can do it too!)

Sweet potato chips:

Some amount of sweet potato, chopped into chip sized bits

Olive oil spray

Rosemary

Thyme

Salt & Pepper

Method:

So whenever you're battering and frying fish, first you gotta dry it with paper towel and coat in flour. Done? Right. 

Mix flour, salt & pepper and herbs in a bowl, and gradually add liquids so you don't get any nasty lumps. There's your batter folks. 

Heat oil in a large pan until a piece of bread browns in it. When oil is hot enough, coat fish in batter and chuck it in! It will fry. I fried mine for about 10 minutes and dried it on paper towel.

MEANWHILE put the sweet potato on a baking tray lined with baking paper, and sprinkle with herbs. You can in fact use any herbs you like, because technically rosemary and thyme don't go with fish but they tasted RIDIC-ulously good. Then spray the bejeezus out of them with olive oil spray and place in a 180 degree fan forced oven until done. 

I would have ideally made a tartare sauce with this but didn't have all the ingredients so instead made a basic seafood sauce but it didn't really go, we just seasoned the fish w/salt and squeezed lots of lemon juice all over it. MMMMM. 

So, that's my cooking for the week. Well it's NOT, actually, but it's all I have time to blog about and frankly you're over reading this aren't you?!

What have you whipped up in the kitchen lately?

Z x

Insane in the mem-brain

When I was pregnant I had chronic baby brain. Working as a copywriter this wasn't a great thing - I would frequently find spelling and grammatical errors, and sometimes simply sentences that didn't make sense, or drifted off into an entirely different subject matter. Looking back, I really wasn't all there.

I think this can be blamed on hormonal shifts as well as being focused on something pretty massive - the little life growing inside you. All the pregnancy books told me about this, and said it was normal, so I felt okay about my new stupid status. But no one told me how stupid I would be AFTER the baby was born.

I am sooooo stupid!! To start with, I'm just not as quick as I once was. I can barely think of something to say in a standard adult conversation, let alone engage in witty repartee (because once, I was so witty...ha!).  My family like to laugh at me because I have a bad habit of being very quick to jump on other people's mistakes and being a liiiiittle critical of others ("HAHAHA that's not the saying you IDIOT" - me, circa 2010), and now I'm the one constantly saying dumb things and just not getting jokes.

Being all exasperated with myself

 Anyway that's just one element of my stupidity. Last week I had a total shocker. I had a semi-stressful afternoon looking after a friend's daughter, and was eager to get home, put Heike to bed and relax. After buckling Heike in, I realised I had no idea what I'd done with my keys. I'd opened the car, so they had to be somewhere. In the console....? No. In the boot....? No. In the pram....? Nup. Bag? Nein! Under Heike?!? No way Jose! Cue: Total Meltdown.



By this point Heike had gone from a little grizzly to fairly upset, which was only intensified by my own stress. I ended up enlisting the help of my friend, a stranger on the street and my husband, who drove twenty minutes from work to rescue us. In the end, the keys were found...ON TOP of the CAR!! Needless to say I was more than a little embarrassed, and baffled at my own stupidity.

Nonetheless, this is what having a baby does to you. Countless people have told me how "silly" and "vague" they felt after having babies. Personally though, I'd be tempted to say I'm actually smarter, or at least much more worldly - I just have too much on my mind. Think about it - sterilising and preparing bottles, remembering feed and nap times, scheduling mother's and play group meetings, packing an epic-sized bag EVERY TIME you leave the house, cooking purees, playing varied games - and that's just for the bubs! On top of that we have to look after ourselves and our families, keep the house running, stay fit and healthy and hey, maybe even a few days of work a week too! So we're basically the smartest people alive...sort of.

Anyway, my stupid week didn't end there. Apparently I have developed a penchant for leaving things on top of the car. After leaving Heike's bottle on the car roof while catching up with a girlfriend later in the week, I was chilling at home after mother's group on Tuesday when I realised I had a few missed calls on my mobile from an unknown number. Next thing our home phone rings, with my husband on the other end:

Him: "Hi babe. Where's your wallet?"

Me: "Um...."

Him: "It was on top of your car!!!"

A lovely neighbourly woman had found my wallet on top of my car in the street, and had managed to locate our mobile numbers on a layby receipt. Again, massive embarrassment having to call her and arrange pick up, and massive reflection on my part as to why I keep doing this! I think I need to take a few things out of the insane vault that is my brain and lock them away until Heike is, maybe, 19 and I have the time and energy to return to them.

Did you lose your marbles post-baby?

Z x

Shop-a-holic

ZOMG, since having Miss H I think I have become addicted to shopping. When I say "I think" it really means "I know" and when I say shopping it just means "spending money". I think that as rewarding as parenthood is, days filled with endless nappy changes and games of peek-a-boo require some counter-fun, and my Achilles heel is burning through cash (if we're not counting wine, which we're not today, okay!?).

I rarely buy anything for myself because, let's face it, I'm still certain I'm going to look like Miranda Kerr in a few months and need a whole new wardrobe (chocolate doesn't have calories, right?). But my number one shopping weakness is baby clothes. They're so teeny and cute, and I have my very own little doll who fits and looks good in everything! Oh my! And $34.95 is soooo cheap for a top, yeah? A tiny, insignificant scrap of top...

Aaaanyway, I also spend money on useless things such as accidentally forking out $14.99 on a Top 30 Hits album that was actually karaoke (there's so much wrong with that) and constantly buying expensive organic fruits and vegetables to puree (I know right, hello earth mother!). But clothes are the real killer.

The great thing about my sickness is that Heike has a fabulous wardrobe, darlings! The other great thing is that I am suddenly so down with baby fashion. Conversations at mother's group go like this...

Someone: "I went into Cotton On kids the other day..."

Me, in typical, you're-not-getting-a-word-in fashion: "Oh Em Gee I am loving their range right now! Did you see their chambray dress? And the colour blocked denim? To Die For!!"

Or something like that...

But in all seriousness, I am kind of fussy about baby clothes. For one, I like clothes that are age appropriate. So not, for example, leopard print denim hot pants (Bardot Junior I'm looking at you). For two, I like things that are well made but not ridiculously overpriced, and in Australia that's not a balance you often find. And finally, for three I am grossly offended by anything that is lacey, frilly, has a giant bow sewn onto it, has a giant flower sewn onto it, or in any way screams "I'm a girl" in a high pitched saccharine voice. So I have to work pretty hard to spend my monies.

At the moment, I'm loving the Navaho Indian thing Seed have going on. I always LOVE their stuff but generally think it's a little pricey for babies as they grow out of it so quickly. I can imagine buying lots there when Heike is older. Anyway, the other day I decided to treat her (cough, myself) to a gorgeous little outfit from Seed, leggings and a top for a pretty reasonable $50, as seen below. Cute, right?

Now hopefully that purchase will get me through the weekend without buying something else ridiculous...now I must go, I'm trying to win a Backstreet Boys poster on Ebay.

Z x