Until Death Do Us Part...

It is an indication of how sad and pathetic I am that I am absolutely SHOCKED and DEVASTATED at the news that Danielle Spencer and Russell Crowe have called it quits after 9 years of marriage. For some reason I always thought they were one of those couples who would "go the distance," and even sadder is that they've two little boys who will of course be caught up in this whole thing.

The once-happy couple

To quote my mother, I didn't come down in the last shower. I know that divorce rates are steadily on the increase. In fact, the ABS tells me that around 40% of marriages entered into can be expected to end in divorce. Interestingly as well, the median length of marriages ending in divorce is around 9 or 10 years, which tells us that Rusty and Danielle's situation is fairly standard. Still, though. Sometimes it feels like the institution is crumbling around us.

When I married my husband I did so with the intention that it would last forever, although realistically I knew in the back of my mind that statistics weren't necessarily in our favour. Sure, we have more chance of staying together than divorcing, but only just. And when public couples split, especially those who seemed to be a great fit, it's more than a little confronting.

What's clear is that marriage takes work - and I can tell you that from experience! Having a child added about, um, 250% more stress to our marriage, and you can imagine that this only increases as more kiddies are added to the mix. But it's extremely important to continue to make time for one another and focus on your relationship - as my Mum has always advised me, it's only the two of you left once the kids have packed up and moved on.

I know I'm guilty of not always being quite as good a wife as I am a mother, and headlines like these remind me to refocus on the important things. Like, sometimes it's more important to sit down and have a beer with your husband than to sit and fold washing in front of X-Factor (I know, sad but true).

When thinking about this I had a look around for secrets to a successful marriage, and found some interesting insights discovered by a professor from the U.S., Dr Terri Orbuch, who had interviewed divorced couples and thus deduced these five simple secrets to a happy union:

1) Money - Apparently the biggest strain on a relationship is money issues - if there's plenty of it, it makes life easier. Clearly.

2) Affection - Men need it more than us women folk, who get it from family, friends, kids and even the local newsagent if we look sad. Ladies, give your man a cuddle.

3) Blame - Lack of it is best, i.e. better not to sit and stew for weeks over how it was your husband's fault your daughter found a razor blade in the shower.

4) Communication - Communicate!

5) Move on - Similar to blame, I guess - all about letting go of things. Easy for me these days as my memory's shot.

You can read the full article on Dr Orbuch's research, and watch a video on Dr Oz's tips for an harmonious marriage, here.

Meanwhile, I'm sure there are women out there who are more elated than devastated at the news Russell is single again. Personally, he's not my type.

Z xx