Whether or not breastfeeding is the best nutrition for an infant is absolutely NOT a debate - it is natural, logical, healthy and clearly the best option. The Australian health industry has invested huge amounts of money and resources into getting this message across, and I think we've got the message, loud and clear.
So why is there still a "debate" that rages around breast vs. bottle feeding? And why do so-called "boob Nazis" (not my term) still feel the need to offer friendly advice to bottle feeding mothers about how much better breastfeeding is?
Personally, I wasn't able to breastfeed. Not successfully anyway. Poor attachment, low supply, and at the end of the day it was a heart wrenching decision to introduce formula, one that was ultimately the best for me and my family. Nonetheless, I continued to look at breastfeeding mothers with longing, and try as best as I could not to bottle feed in public for fear of being judged.
Hold on. When did it become intimidating for a loving, devoted mother to feed her infant a bottle of formula in public? Around the time breastfeeding advocates began championing the rights of women to breastfeed in public, perhaps? Because breast is, of course, best.
There's that word again - best. Reading Dr. Howard Chilton's book "Baby on Board" was the first time I considered how odd the use of the term 'best' was. He suggested the slogan be "Breast is Natural", which of course it is. The word best, to me, automatically negates alternatives. And thus in fighting for the rise and acceptance of breastfeeding, like in many civil rights movements, the rights of bottle feeding mothers have been sidelined.
When in hospital after giving birth, I was struck by the attitude towards formula feeding - it wasn't mentioned as an option. Furthermore, a friend who had to bottle feed for medical reasons explained to me how she had to sign a form to say the midwife was allowed to feed her baby formula. In case, what, she would SUE her for feeding a baby a perfectly harmless bottle of formula, without which it would drink contaminated breast milk or starve? That's interesting, because I didn't have to sign a form allowing a midwife to grab my boob repeatedly and tweak my nipple, but she did it anyway.
A week later, when a midwife was visiting my baby and I at home and I was having serious issues with feeding, my daughter was clearly showing the effects of a lack of nutrition - no wet nappies, ridiculously jaundiced and incredibly sleepy. At that point, I was desperate to give her a bottle of formula and see just one wet nappy, but I needed reassurance that it was the right thing to do.
"I can't tell you whether to give her formula," said the midwife. "That's your decision."
In the end I did give her formula that afternoon, and the piece of mind it gave me was incredible. Still, I was upset that the midwife hadn't given me more support. Dealing with first time motherhood, baby blues AND feeding issues was taking its toll, and all I needed was someone to validate my decisions.
When I expressed this to a midwife friend of mine, she told me that midwives aren't actually allowed, legally, to suggest switching to formula. This became clearer to me when I visited a breastfeeding support group a few days later and, despite clear evidence that breastfeeding was just not working for me, a (lovely, helpful and lifesaving in most respects!) midwife devised a plan for me that would allow me to breastfeed to some extent at any cost. The plan she devised was, though well meaning, incredibly difficult for me to execute with a new baby who was difficult to settle and a husband who worked 12 hour days. Yet the midwife was determined I continue anyway.
Basically, all of this made my first few months as a new mother extremely difficult. What would have really helped me was someone saying "Okay, breastfeeding is ideal but it's not working out for you. Give her a bottle and move on." Instead, I had scores of professionals telling me I should do everything possible to breastfeed when I was clearly struggling and, I believe, breastfeeding was to my daughter's detriment. Once she was fully formula fed, it was like we'd been given a new baby - a smiley, sunshiney little girl. Who wasn't starving.
So please, give us formula feeding mums a break! Stop the boob debate and let's support each other in one of the toughest jobs going round - motherhood.
Z x
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