We had a difficult weekend with Miss 3.5. After a few lovely weeks of no huge confrontations and overall sibling harmony, she was suddenly tired, grumpy, angry, screechy and generally not fun to be around.
But J and I were not our best selves either. We have just gone through a stressful, emotional period of him selling his business, which he started over 10 years ago and has worked so hard at almost every day since. Ultimately it was exciting but we (particularly J) were drained.
I woke up on Saturday with a sore ear, which as a former child who got ear infections every other month I KNEW would turn into an ear infection. Sunday I woke up with a fever and spent the day in bed. Which left J to deal with both kids alone, including aforementioned bratty toddler.
Last night we sat down and reflected that neither of us had the patience to be good parents over the weekend. Every typical toddler behaviour - defiance, boundary pushing, emotional outbursts - had us flinching, made us angry.
We were exhausted, sick, in desperate need of a long nap and a massage. But instead of having a peppermint tea and going to bed at 8pm on Saturday night, we sat up drinking wine because it was Valentine's Day and we felt sorry for ourselves.
So it got me thinking about something I've thought and even advised dozens of times - the kind of day you have as a parent is often completely down to you. If you wake up early, exercise, eat a healthy breakfast and most importantly start with a positive attitude and outlook, you are going to have a MUCH better day with your kids. More than that, children are SO sensitive and really pick up on your emotions, so they will tend to test you more (in my experience) when you're not on your A game.
It also really brings home the point that you really need to look after yourself as a mother. Happy Mum, Happy Bub and all that. It's something you hear all the time, so often that it can lose its meaning, but it's completely true. Ask for help. Eat well. Take naps when you can. Let someone else clean. Read.
It's SO not easy to do. It's so tempting to want to be everything to everyone all the time. To want to be perfect, and have a perfect house, and have perfect children who are perfectly dressed. But if YOU are feeling amazing, the rest will come too. And yes, I know it's been written a thousand times before but I'm repeating it because it's true, and everyone needs a reminder now and then.
Z x
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