Groundhog Day

I have definitely been struggling with the "same thing, different day" aspect of my life lately. I'm aware that I should basically shut up and be grateful for my life which is pretty privileged and generally very happy, but I think anyone who spends their days home with very small children will tell you it can be mind numbing.

Like, some days I wonder if I have had a seizure my brain is so mushy.

H has recently started at our local Montessori Kindy, and this is generally AMAZING, we love the school and it adds a lovely element of routine into our days. We walk to school each day and three hours later we walk back, then come home to eat lunch together.

But it does sort of jar our day. By the time we've had lunch, W is ready for another sleep. H also sleeps some days. By the time he or they wake up, it's often close enough to dinner time that I can't really be bothered to leave the house again. Which is fine, really. The kids are happiest at home. Just boring for me I guess.

I love the afternoons at home playing with my babies but there's only so much shops/princesses/extremely specific games that are dictated to me in detail that I can stand. So it kind of goes…do some washing…play a little shops…any new emails? No? Sing to the baby. What time is it? 4.15. Hm…let's do play dough! Okay…now it's 4.25, and the house is reaaaaally messy. Tidy a little. 4.29. Any new emails?

The thing is, we kind of HAVE been changing things up a little. On Sunday we had a picnic dinner in the park with friends, and last night we went out to a restaurant. My sister stayed over last week, J took a day off. So it's strange that I'm feeling this way.

Maybe I'm hormonal? Or maybe it's just 8 months of juggling, 8 months of being really busy but at the same time doing absolutely nothing. It's a strange, inexplicable thing, being a mother of infants and preschoolers. You can't quite explain it unless you've done it - yet most Mums seem to understand that there is something specifically challenging, something lonely and isolating, about this phase of parenting.

Mostly it's great. Mostly it's fantastic, actually - your kids have boundless love to share and they actually worship you, for a while.

But it can sometimes feel like groundhog day!

Z x