My New Heart

I went for a wee shop in the city today with a girlfriend - we met for coffee but inevitably ducked into a few stores - and purchased myself a beautiful new bracelet.

I'd bought from the same jewellery designer before, years ago at Bondi Markets - a necklace adorned with a cute little "Z" that I wear all the time. I'd thought about getting a "J" to go with it and had their things in the back of my mind when I was pregnant. But today I walked past the store and was reminded just how cute their stuff is.

I just couldn't resist this gorgeous little heart engraved with the initial of my beloved:

Silver plated initial heart, $39

Now typically I have thrown out the bag from the store in my haste to get this on my wrist, but I feel like maybe it was called Rejuvinate or some other uplifting word beginning with "R" like Restore, Resurrect or Reinvent...or something. But it's one of those little designer stores in the Urban section of Westfield Sydney. The great thing is that they have their stuff available in sterling silver/18k gold OR if you're cheap or unsure, you can get it for $39 and it's just plated.

I got my Z in sterling silver because I knew it would be a keeper - I'd also love a keepsake for Heike but was just not sure if I would wear the bracelet or if I would find it gathering rust at the back of my bathroom cupboard as I so frequently do many of my nice pieces. So for now I've bought the $39 version, and will bug Justus for a sterling silver one if I get enough wear out of it.

So if you want your wrist to look as awesome as mine, you can get this! Or not! You could get lots of other cool bracelets! Yeah!

As a bit of a postscript, my Mum bought a gold plated necklace from this designer years ago when she was starting out, and the plating came off after the first wear. I agreed with her that this wasn't really acceptable (if you're going to pay for a necklace, plated or not, you'd expect it to last more than one wear) so I went with Mum to take it back and the designer was REALLY rude and unhelpful. The necklace was barely worn and we would have been happy to exchange, but she basically had a go at Mum about it and it was really uncomfortable. Still, I think her stuff is awesome and would buy it again, but don't really feel like giving her a free pass on that one!

Z x

Num nums

I've always been pretty into cooking and extremely into food, so it's no surprise that my love of each of these things has intensified now that I'm a Mum. For starters, I'm so tired food is my go-to pick me up. As well as that, I'm trying to get rid of some of that baby weight, so it's become important for me to find yummy dishes that are also healthy. Finally, let's be honest, there's just not that much else going on in my life!

Justus and I are currently trying to cook different meals and recipes each night ("We are" could loosely translate to "I am" - although he picks some of them and gladly eats them) which kind of makes us like that girl from Julia & Julia. Except we don't do Julia Childs. Anyway, this of course leads to the occasional kitchen disaster but more frequently the discovery of easy, delicious recipes that we can add to our rotation when we decide to stop trying new things. Which at this rate may be never!

Here are two I've loved lately:

Red Wine Chilli Lentils w/Barbequed Veal Chops

 

Yummoooo!

Recipe:

2/3 cup puy lentils

Salt

1 red onion, sliced

1 red chilli,  seeded and finely chopped

1/2 teaspoon garam masala

1 teaspoon ground cumin

2 tablespoons olive oil

1/2 cup red wine

1 x 400g tin chopped tomatoes

4 veal chops

Parsley, to serve

Method:

This was super easy! Basically bring 500mL water and the lentils to the boil, and then simmer until tender. When tender, drain.

In a frypan, heat oil and add onion, garam masala and cumin, and cook until onion soft and spices smell DELISH. Then add tomatoes, wine, 1/2 cup water and CHILLI. Cook for five mins, then add lentils and simmer for 10 mins.

Meanwhile, cook the chops on your barbie' however you like them done (medium rare is my preference).

Stir parsley through lentils and serve. EAT!!

I made a few changes, not many, but first of all I added more chilli. If a recipe has "chilli" in the title I expect it to be noticeably hot, but this just had a mild flavour of chilli. So I added about a gazillion teaspoons of chilli flakes but you could maybe just add one or two...I also used veal rib cutlets which was maybe a bit SILLY as I'd never cooked them before and they were slightly underdone for me (not so for Justus but then he'd eat anything). Finally, I didn't use parsley because, um, I didn't have any but the lentils were still DEL and to be honest I think parsley is a really overrated herb. 

OH and I made a little side salad, see what I did there? Yeah.

Moving on.

Battered flathead fillets w/sweet potato chips 

OMNOMNOM

Okay so this is not SOOOO healthy but guess what guys? I made this sucker up myself! Yeah! Alright it's essentially fish and chips but I made my OWN batter up and I invented these chips which fair enough have probably been "invented" by tons of people around the world but LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT, 'kay?

Right, now. What did I do here? 

Fish:

Flathead fillets - I bought enough for two peeps but you could buy however many you need for however many bros you got. 

1 cup flour

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup water

Oregano

Thyme

Salt & Pepper

Oil for frying (seed based oils e.g. Canola are best for frying but I used peanut oil because it was all I had and I only decided to fry the fish at the last minute - turned out fab so you can do it too!)

Sweet potato chips:

Some amount of sweet potato, chopped into chip sized bits

Olive oil spray

Rosemary

Thyme

Salt & Pepper

Method:

So whenever you're battering and frying fish, first you gotta dry it with paper towel and coat in flour. Done? Right. 

Mix flour, salt & pepper and herbs in a bowl, and gradually add liquids so you don't get any nasty lumps. There's your batter folks. 

Heat oil in a large pan until a piece of bread browns in it. When oil is hot enough, coat fish in batter and chuck it in! It will fry. I fried mine for about 10 minutes and dried it on paper towel.

MEANWHILE put the sweet potato on a baking tray lined with baking paper, and sprinkle with herbs. You can in fact use any herbs you like, because technically rosemary and thyme don't go with fish but they tasted RIDIC-ulously good. Then spray the bejeezus out of them with olive oil spray and place in a 180 degree fan forced oven until done. 

I would have ideally made a tartare sauce with this but didn't have all the ingredients so instead made a basic seafood sauce but it didn't really go, we just seasoned the fish w/salt and squeezed lots of lemon juice all over it. MMMMM. 

So, that's my cooking for the week. Well it's NOT, actually, but it's all I have time to blog about and frankly you're over reading this aren't you?!

What have you whipped up in the kitchen lately?

Z x

Insane in the mem-brain

When I was pregnant I had chronic baby brain. Working as a copywriter this wasn't a great thing - I would frequently find spelling and grammatical errors, and sometimes simply sentences that didn't make sense, or drifted off into an entirely different subject matter. Looking back, I really wasn't all there.

I think this can be blamed on hormonal shifts as well as being focused on something pretty massive - the little life growing inside you. All the pregnancy books told me about this, and said it was normal, so I felt okay about my new stupid status. But no one told me how stupid I would be AFTER the baby was born.

I am sooooo stupid!! To start with, I'm just not as quick as I once was. I can barely think of something to say in a standard adult conversation, let alone engage in witty repartee (because once, I was so witty...ha!).  My family like to laugh at me because I have a bad habit of being very quick to jump on other people's mistakes and being a liiiiittle critical of others ("HAHAHA that's not the saying you IDIOT" - me, circa 2010), and now I'm the one constantly saying dumb things and just not getting jokes.

Being all exasperated with myself

 Anyway that's just one element of my stupidity. Last week I had a total shocker. I had a semi-stressful afternoon looking after a friend's daughter, and was eager to get home, put Heike to bed and relax. After buckling Heike in, I realised I had no idea what I'd done with my keys. I'd opened the car, so they had to be somewhere. In the console....? No. In the boot....? No. In the pram....? Nup. Bag? Nein! Under Heike?!? No way Jose! Cue: Total Meltdown.



By this point Heike had gone from a little grizzly to fairly upset, which was only intensified by my own stress. I ended up enlisting the help of my friend, a stranger on the street and my husband, who drove twenty minutes from work to rescue us. In the end, the keys were found...ON TOP of the CAR!! Needless to say I was more than a little embarrassed, and baffled at my own stupidity.

Nonetheless, this is what having a baby does to you. Countless people have told me how "silly" and "vague" they felt after having babies. Personally though, I'd be tempted to say I'm actually smarter, or at least much more worldly - I just have too much on my mind. Think about it - sterilising and preparing bottles, remembering feed and nap times, scheduling mother's and play group meetings, packing an epic-sized bag EVERY TIME you leave the house, cooking purees, playing varied games - and that's just for the bubs! On top of that we have to look after ourselves and our families, keep the house running, stay fit and healthy and hey, maybe even a few days of work a week too! So we're basically the smartest people alive...sort of.

Anyway, my stupid week didn't end there. Apparently I have developed a penchant for leaving things on top of the car. After leaving Heike's bottle on the car roof while catching up with a girlfriend later in the week, I was chilling at home after mother's group on Tuesday when I realised I had a few missed calls on my mobile from an unknown number. Next thing our home phone rings, with my husband on the other end:

Him: "Hi babe. Where's your wallet?"

Me: "Um...."

Him: "It was on top of your car!!!"

A lovely neighbourly woman had found my wallet on top of my car in the street, and had managed to locate our mobile numbers on a layby receipt. Again, massive embarrassment having to call her and arrange pick up, and massive reflection on my part as to why I keep doing this! I think I need to take a few things out of the insane vault that is my brain and lock them away until Heike is, maybe, 19 and I have the time and energy to return to them.

Did you lose your marbles post-baby?

Z x

Shop-a-holic

ZOMG, since having Miss H I think I have become addicted to shopping. When I say "I think" it really means "I know" and when I say shopping it just means "spending money". I think that as rewarding as parenthood is, days filled with endless nappy changes and games of peek-a-boo require some counter-fun, and my Achilles heel is burning through cash (if we're not counting wine, which we're not today, okay!?).

I rarely buy anything for myself because, let's face it, I'm still certain I'm going to look like Miranda Kerr in a few months and need a whole new wardrobe (chocolate doesn't have calories, right?). But my number one shopping weakness is baby clothes. They're so teeny and cute, and I have my very own little doll who fits and looks good in everything! Oh my! And $34.95 is soooo cheap for a top, yeah? A tiny, insignificant scrap of top...

Aaaanyway, I also spend money on useless things such as accidentally forking out $14.99 on a Top 30 Hits album that was actually karaoke (there's so much wrong with that) and constantly buying expensive organic fruits and vegetables to puree (I know right, hello earth mother!). But clothes are the real killer.

The great thing about my sickness is that Heike has a fabulous wardrobe, darlings! The other great thing is that I am suddenly so down with baby fashion. Conversations at mother's group go like this...

Someone: "I went into Cotton On kids the other day..."

Me, in typical, you're-not-getting-a-word-in fashion: "Oh Em Gee I am loving their range right now! Did you see their chambray dress? And the colour blocked denim? To Die For!!"

Or something like that...

But in all seriousness, I am kind of fussy about baby clothes. For one, I like clothes that are age appropriate. So not, for example, leopard print denim hot pants (Bardot Junior I'm looking at you). For two, I like things that are well made but not ridiculously overpriced, and in Australia that's not a balance you often find. And finally, for three I am grossly offended by anything that is lacey, frilly, has a giant bow sewn onto it, has a giant flower sewn onto it, or in any way screams "I'm a girl" in a high pitched saccharine voice. So I have to work pretty hard to spend my monies.

At the moment, I'm loving the Navaho Indian thing Seed have going on. I always LOVE their stuff but generally think it's a little pricey for babies as they grow out of it so quickly. I can imagine buying lots there when Heike is older. Anyway, the other day I decided to treat her (cough, myself) to a gorgeous little outfit from Seed, leggings and a top for a pretty reasonable $50, as seen below. Cute, right?

Now hopefully that purchase will get me through the weekend without buying something else ridiculous...now I must go, I'm trying to win a Backstreet Boys poster on Ebay.

Z x

The Joy of Catnapping

Dealing with catnapping is the worst. Especially when everyone is on hand to tell you just how much sleep your baby SHOULD be getting during the day, and just how simple it is to "resettle" them. I hope by sharing my catnapping woes I will help at least one poor soul going through the anguish I went through with Miss H.

In the first few weeks after Heike was born she was sleeping 5-6 hour stretches at night pretty much straight away, but the days were a different story. After that first sleepy week, in fact, we could hardly get her to sleep at all during the day without the help of my two best friends, the car and the pram. Oh and of course my new lover, the dummy (never leave me!). During this period I look back on as "the dark time," I would only have to begin to place Heike in the bassinet to be guaranteed a total fit. Cool, so now I knew how to bring on a meltdown - yay!

Thus began several weeks of intense and gruelling sleep training, which lasted until she was around 6-8 weeks old. It was with the help of hours of rocking (blaaaargh), a Fisher & Price Seahorse, patting, shushing, THE DUMMY (!!) and all the patience I could muster that Heike eventually began napping in her bed during the day. Sure, there were times when we packed it in and went on a looooong walk. There were also times I picked her up and rocked her to sleep. But, in general, it began working.

Towards the end of this period, it got progressively easier - there were times when I used a white noise CD downloaded off iTunes (such a good investment!) and just played it in the background while she slept. In the end I think it was about her conquering her "fear" of sleeping alone in her bed.

So, sleeping in her cot - success! But no matter what I did, I couldn't get her to sleep longer than 40 minutes. Some mums (smart ones!) would simply embrace this, figuring that it was natural and simply getting them up and putting them back down when they showed signs of being tired. Control freak mothers like myself may decide this is simply not good enough and spend many hours trying to "resettle" their baby in order to fit into an ideal sleep routine.

I can't emphasise enough how much I DON'T believe in resettling. But first, I should clarify exactly what I mean by that.

Some babies wake after only forty minutes and are visibly still tired. They are rubbing their eyes, grumpy, closing their eyes for a few seconds before opening them and crying. These babies can probably (PROBably) be resettled with a bit of persistance and, if you're using one, a dummy. A walk is a great way of resettling a baby, if you have the energy. But then there are the other babies - what I call the "true" catnappers - who wake after 40, 30, sometimes even 20 minutes with a big smile on their face and lots of energy. My only advice is...don't bother trying to resettle these babies!! For us, no amount of patting and singing would send Heike back to sleep - it would only send both her and I around the bend, and end in tears.

Think about the people you know. As a case study, I'll present me and my husband. Me, I need minimum 8 hours sleep a night to function. So much so that when my daughter was born I started going to bed at 7.30pm. I can then take a couple of naps in a day (okay, I never do this, but I could) and still be tired at 9pm. I'm a sleeper. My hubby on the other hand can go to be at 1am and wake at 5am and still achieve three times as much as I ever could in a day. He's insane. His energy is out of this world and, from what I've heard, it was like that when he was a baby too.

So, of course, all babies are going to have different energy levels too. Some will be sleepy and lazy (which all stories say I was) and others will be energiser bunnies. Embrace it - fighting it will only cause undue stress and anxiety, for you and your baby.

As an aside, Miss Heike did start taking longer naps at around four months, and it wasn't due to anything I did - it just happened. She grew into it. If only I could have back all those hours I wasted trying to resettle. She also slept eight hours or more at night from 6 weeks - which I've heard lots of big time catnappers do.

So take heart - it will get easier.

Z x

The Boob Debate

Whether or not breastfeeding is the best nutrition for an infant is absolutely NOT a debate - it is natural, logical, healthy and clearly the best option. The Australian health industry has invested huge amounts of money and resources into getting this message across, and I think we've got the message, loud and clear.

So why is there still a "debate" that rages around breast vs. bottle feeding? And why do so-called "boob Nazis" (not my term) still feel the need to offer friendly advice to bottle feeding mothers about how much better breastfeeding is?

Personally, I wasn't able to breastfeed. Not successfully anyway. Poor attachment, low supply, and at the end of the day it was a heart wrenching decision to introduce formula, one that was ultimately the best for me and my family. Nonetheless, I continued to look at breastfeeding mothers with longing, and try as best as I could not to bottle feed in public for fear of being judged.

Hold on. When did it become intimidating for a loving, devoted mother to feed her infant a bottle of formula in public? Around the time breastfeeding advocates began championing the rights of women to breastfeed in public, perhaps? Because breast is, of course, best.

There's that word again - best. Reading Dr. Howard Chilton's book "Baby on Board" was the first time I considered how odd the use of the term 'best' was. He suggested the slogan be "Breast is Natural", which of course it is. The word best, to me, automatically negates alternatives. And thus in fighting for the rise and acceptance of breastfeeding, like in many civil rights movements, the rights of bottle feeding mothers have been sidelined.

When in hospital after giving birth, I was struck by the attitude towards formula feeding - it wasn't mentioned as an option. Furthermore, a friend who had to bottle feed for medical reasons explained to me how she had to sign a form to say the midwife was allowed to feed her baby formula. In case, what, she would SUE her for feeding a baby a perfectly harmless bottle of formula, without which it would drink contaminated breast milk or starve? That's interesting, because I didn't have to sign a form allowing a midwife to grab my boob repeatedly and tweak my nipple, but she did it anyway.

A week later, when a midwife was visiting my baby and I at home and I was having serious issues with feeding, my daughter was clearly showing the effects of a lack of nutrition - no wet nappies, ridiculously jaundiced and incredibly sleepy. At that point, I was desperate to give her a bottle of formula and see just one wet nappy, but I needed reassurance that it was the right thing to do.

"I can't tell you whether to give her formula," said the midwife. "That's your decision."

In the end I did give her formula that afternoon, and the piece of mind it gave me was incredible. Still, I was upset that the midwife hadn't given me more support. Dealing with first time motherhood, baby blues AND feeding issues was taking its toll, and all I needed was someone to validate my decisions.

When I expressed this to a midwife friend of mine, she told me that midwives aren't actually allowed, legally, to suggest switching to formula. This became clearer to me when I visited a breastfeeding support group a few days later and, despite clear evidence that breastfeeding was just not working for me, a (lovely, helpful and lifesaving in most respects!) midwife devised a plan for me that would allow me to breastfeed to some extent at any cost. The plan she devised was, though well meaning, incredibly difficult for me to execute with a new baby who was difficult to settle and a husband who worked 12 hour days. Yet the midwife was determined I continue anyway.

Basically, all of this made my first few months as a new mother extremely difficult. What would have really helped me was someone saying "Okay, breastfeeding is ideal but it's not working out for you. Give her a bottle and move on." Instead, I had scores of professionals telling me I should do everything possible to breastfeed when I was clearly struggling and, I believe, breastfeeding was to my daughter's detriment. Once she was fully formula fed, it was like we'd been given a new baby - a smiley, sunshiney little girl. Who wasn't starving.

So please, give us formula feeding mums a break! Stop the boob debate and let's support each other in one of the toughest jobs going round - motherhood.

Z x