I was interested to read an article this week citing a new study out of Denmark into drinking alcohol while pregnant. The study, conducted using data from over 1600 women in the Danish National Birth Cohort, found that up to eight drinks per week or the occasional binge drinking session during pregnancy is not neccessarily harmful to your unborn baby - woo, let's party!
I'm constantly baffled as to why studies like this even exist. I mean, it's common sense. We all know what alcohol does to us when we're NOT pregnant - how it makes us feel, what it makes us do, the effect it has on our bodies. Why then would we choose to drink while pregnant? Regardless of the potential risk, or lack of one, it would be easier to just say "Look, you're pregnant, let's eliminate all risks and say steer clear of booze for a few months." And maybe direct the resources from these studies into something like, maybe, curing cancer.
Personally, I didn't drink when I was pregnant. Okay, that's not entirely true. In the weeks between the "fateful deed" and finding out I was indeed knocked up, I participated in some rather, ahem, jovial holiday celebrations - a Christmas party, a boxing day drinking fest and a rambunctious New Year's Eve bash. On the day before realising my period was late, I was offered a beer and felt kind of sick at the thought - the first clue that drinking would be a thing of the past for the next nine months.
Throughout my pregnancy however I was the model pregnant madonna, otherwise known as the slightly crazy anxiety ridden whale prone to hyperventilating while in the presence of soft cheeses. STAY AWAY FROM MY BABY WHITE RIND! But I only wanted what was best for my child and I can't understand why other women wouldn't feel the same.
All these thoughts of alcohol had me craving a wine, which I promptly poured and got to thinking - hm, I was such a martyr when I was pregnant but these days, I'm quite the booze hound. I remembered watching a program on binge drinking not long ago in which they enlisted a "health expert" to discuss the binge drinking epidemic.
"We are finding," said he "that among the biggest binge drinkers are stay at home mothers, who frequently drink half a bottle or more a night without even realising it."
.........
Okay so I don't drink half a bottle or more per night - I only ever allow two glasses on school nights (yes, even though mothering a baby is a seven day job I still differentiate school nights) and I have at least three alcohol free days a week. But I do find an increased dependence on wine now that I'm a mother.
Why is that?
I think for one it's a stress release thing - being able to sit down at the end of a long day and drink a large glass of wine is a rare and deserved pleasure for many Mums. It's also a way of preserving an individual, adult identity, which is tough to do when you spend most of your life covered in vomit, saliva and mushy crackers and talking chirpily to someone who doesn't and can't reply.
As evidenced by the "health expert"'s comment above, it's not just me who is driven to drink. Many of my Mummy friends have confessed they are drinking more alcohol more often now that they have children, while I've discovered there are entire blogs devoted to Mums Behaving Badly - that is, Mums who drink.
One of the comments on one such blog states, and I quote:
“I became a daily wine drinker to cope with being a stay-at-home mom.
The boredom, the stress ... I just decided one day I’d start sipping on
wine at 4 when Oprah came on ... the thought of quitting for good seems unbearable. I wish the desire to drink would just be lifted from me.”
This comment made me stop in my tracks. For one, I feel for this poor woman, and her family. She sounds depressed and at a dead end. For two, it rings way too close to home - I mean, I'm not there but I get it. And sometimes getting it is just a hop, skip and one too many glasses of Shiraz from being there.
From now on, I'll be having four alcohol free nights a week.
Z xx
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Me Myself and I
I'm feeling sick, tired and sorry for myself today. It's been a busy few weeks in which I've felt like there is always someone needing my attention, always something cooking in my oven and always something that needs cleaning, washing or tidying. You know those weeks - they're just like all the other weeks except everything feels harder.
Having a sick baby of course escalates these feelings, but what's worse is the last few days I've felt a bit sick myself - I know, I know, woe is me. I've got all kinds of first world problems!
Thus, I have decided to have an evening that's all about me. I've just enjoyed a nutritious dinner of muesli accompanied by a fine cup of tea, painted my nails for the first time in months and am watching "The Block" while simultaneously googling, online shopping, pinning and writing this. In 30 minutes or so I'm going to retreat to bed covered in moisturiser and fall asleep reading my book.
While this isn't really subject matter worthy of a blog post, I was glad I remembered that sometimes, it's not only okay but necessary to take some time just for me. So I thought it was important that I remind you, too - if you can, put the kettle on, make a cuppa, put your feet up and read a tacky magazine. You deserve it.
Z x
Having a sick baby of course escalates these feelings, but what's worse is the last few days I've felt a bit sick myself - I know, I know, woe is me. I've got all kinds of first world problems!
Thus, I have decided to have an evening that's all about me. I've just enjoyed a nutritious dinner of muesli accompanied by a fine cup of tea, painted my nails for the first time in months and am watching "The Block" while simultaneously googling, online shopping, pinning and writing this. In 30 minutes or so I'm going to retreat to bed covered in moisturiser and fall asleep reading my book.
While this isn't really subject matter worthy of a blog post, I was glad I remembered that sometimes, it's not only okay but necessary to take some time just for me. So I thought it was important that I remind you, too - if you can, put the kettle on, make a cuppa, put your feet up and read a tacky magazine. You deserve it.
Z x
Monday, June 18, 2012
A Pox Upon Our House
Well, we have been dealing with some dramas in our house over the weekend! Late on Friday, Heike came out with a rash all over her body - it started on her face and legs and gradually spread, well, everywhere. We decided to keep and eye on her overnight, rather than having a total stress attack (which parents in general are prone to do).
When we woke up on Saturday morning to find the rash was worse and large welts had developed all over Heike's tiny body, I decided I would start to stress. We rushed straight to casualty (okay we may have stopped for coffee and breakfast) and were swept straight into triage where the nurse took one look at our baby and said "chicken pox".
Chicken pox?!! First of all I was convinced she was in the throes of anaphylaxis, which is probably more telling about my understanding of allergies than anything else, and second of all how the HELL does a nine month old baby get chicken pox? I thought it was the business of grubby school-aged children, and many years away from our present reality.
Of course I've since done lots of reading into "the pox" and have found that it is in fact rare for a baby this age to contract chicken pox. Most babies are still carrying immunity from their mother until they hit about 12 months. It's possible that Heike's immunity has already worn off, or that she never got great immunity from me in the first place (*adds to mental list of failures).
I also thought kids could only get chicken pox by running around and touching and slobbering all over one another, which is why I couldn't believe my perfect bundle who spends most of her time with adults or other babies could possibly have it. But alas, this is also not the case. Chicken pox is highly infectious and, once it's airborne, there's NO STOPPING IT. It could have been that child we sat next to in the cafe...the nice lady and her dog who walk past us each afternoon...the schoolkid in the swing three metres away at the park...it's EVERYWHERE.
In all seriousness I was surprised just how contagious chicken pox is, which is why I have written this delightful community service announcement, so now you know too. The huge, ginormous inconvenience is that I must now shield my highly infectious child from society. Which sucks because spending a week indoors with a baby has been found to cause odd behaviour such as talking to oneself, eating entire packets of cookies and spending long periods of time with ones sight fixated on inanimate objects. So I've heard. Not to mention the sun is shining for the first time in weeks, and we love getting outside to the park. Luckily we have a small back yard where Heike can help me do entertaining things such as hang washing out and weed the garden.
Anyway, for those who are interested I have found the following things to keep Heike comfortable in this trying time (my poor baby!):
- Baths - baths seem to put Heike in a better mood so I assume they are soothing for the pox. According to various websites you can put oatmeal, bicarb soda or Pinesarol bath oil into the water to relieve itching. We have used Pinesarol which is effective but smells like Satan's armpits.
- Calamine lotion - While this does seem to relieve the itch it makes Heike really uncomfortable when we apply it. I think it is probably cold and hurts the more open/weeping lesions.
- Panadol - We rarely use Panadol but because Heike's sleeping has been effected and she has been running a little warm, we've been giving her one or two doses a day. It definitely helps - even if it's just taking the edge off, I figure if I was in her shoes I'd probably be on harder drugs than paracetamol.
- Socks on the hands - The best thing about Heike being so young is that she can't really scratch. I'm not sure she really knows how, but she does rub her face on everything. Nonetheless we have been putting socks on her hands (in lieu of mittens, which we are too cheap to go out and purchase) which prevents any scratching and protects her hands, where the spots are the worst and most concentrated.
- Love, hugs and a relaxed attitude - This is perhaps the best advice I can give, because Heike has needed a little extra TLC over the last few days. She would rather be in my arms than on the floor and would rather be carried than crawl. No worries, says I, you are unwell! She's also not really into food at the moment and has basically only eaten rice cakes and toast. No worries! All good! (That's my relaxed attitude right there).
Anyway, I hope that everyone in your house is healthy and you don't have to deal with the pox any time soon.
Z xx
When we woke up on Saturday morning to find the rash was worse and large welts had developed all over Heike's tiny body, I decided I would start to stress. We rushed straight to casualty (okay we may have stopped for coffee and breakfast) and were swept straight into triage where the nurse took one look at our baby and said "chicken pox".
Chicken pox?!! First of all I was convinced she was in the throes of anaphylaxis, which is probably more telling about my understanding of allergies than anything else, and second of all how the HELL does a nine month old baby get chicken pox? I thought it was the business of grubby school-aged children, and many years away from our present reality.
Of course I've since done lots of reading into "the pox" and have found that it is in fact rare for a baby this age to contract chicken pox. Most babies are still carrying immunity from their mother until they hit about 12 months. It's possible that Heike's immunity has already worn off, or that she never got great immunity from me in the first place (*adds to mental list of failures).
I also thought kids could only get chicken pox by running around and touching and slobbering all over one another, which is why I couldn't believe my perfect bundle who spends most of her time with adults or other babies could possibly have it. But alas, this is also not the case. Chicken pox is highly infectious and, once it's airborne, there's NO STOPPING IT. It could have been that child we sat next to in the cafe...the nice lady and her dog who walk past us each afternoon...the schoolkid in the swing three metres away at the park...it's EVERYWHERE.
In all seriousness I was surprised just how contagious chicken pox is, which is why I have written this delightful community service announcement, so now you know too. The huge, ginormous inconvenience is that I must now shield my highly infectious child from society. Which sucks because spending a week indoors with a baby has been found to cause odd behaviour such as talking to oneself, eating entire packets of cookies and spending long periods of time with ones sight fixated on inanimate objects. So I've heard. Not to mention the sun is shining for the first time in weeks, and we love getting outside to the park. Luckily we have a small back yard where Heike can help me do entertaining things such as hang washing out and weed the garden.
Anyway, for those who are interested I have found the following things to keep Heike comfortable in this trying time (my poor baby!):
- Baths - baths seem to put Heike in a better mood so I assume they are soothing for the pox. According to various websites you can put oatmeal, bicarb soda or Pinesarol bath oil into the water to relieve itching. We have used Pinesarol which is effective but smells like Satan's armpits.
- Calamine lotion - While this does seem to relieve the itch it makes Heike really uncomfortable when we apply it. I think it is probably cold and hurts the more open/weeping lesions.
- Panadol - We rarely use Panadol but because Heike's sleeping has been effected and she has been running a little warm, we've been giving her one or two doses a day. It definitely helps - even if it's just taking the edge off, I figure if I was in her shoes I'd probably be on harder drugs than paracetamol.
- Socks on the hands - The best thing about Heike being so young is that she can't really scratch. I'm not sure she really knows how, but she does rub her face on everything. Nonetheless we have been putting socks on her hands (in lieu of mittens, which we are too cheap to go out and purchase) which prevents any scratching and protects her hands, where the spots are the worst and most concentrated.
- Love, hugs and a relaxed attitude - This is perhaps the best advice I can give, because Heike has needed a little extra TLC over the last few days. She would rather be in my arms than on the floor and would rather be carried than crawl. No worries, says I, you are unwell! She's also not really into food at the moment and has basically only eaten rice cakes and toast. No worries! All good! (That's my relaxed attitude right there).
Anyway, I hope that everyone in your house is healthy and you don't have to deal with the pox any time soon.
Z xx
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Box Fresh
While shopping with a nine month old is by no means as difficult as shopping with a newborn, it still ain't easy - particularly if your particular breed of nine month old can be sitting happily in the trolley seat one minute and be found with a bunch of rosemary in their mouth the next.
I tried Woolworths online once and while it was good for the basics, it was rubbish for the fruit and veg. I ended up with all the bruised apples, mouldy strawberries and floury tomatoes that I've become so good at weeding out over many years of training.
Recently, a friend put me onto a gem of a site called Box Fresh - you can check them out here. The basic idea is that you order roughly the quantity of fruit and veg you need for a week and they deliver you a box of what's in season, direct from the markets.
I suppose the downside is that you can't choose what you get, but personally I love this because if there's one thing I hate more than grocery shopping it's deciding what to cook. In fact this exact issue is often the cause of arguments in our household as I'm incredibly indecisive and this annoys my decisive husband so much that he refuses to make decisions, leading to stubborn cold wars in which NO ONE will dare utter what they feel like for dinner. Mature, I know.
Anyway the other FAB thing about Box Fresh is they offer special "Mum and Baby" boxes, where they throw in a little extra of the stuff bubs love to eat - potatoes, carrots, broccoli, pears etc. So you're not stuck with loads of capsicums and chilli's and ginger and other delicious stuff babies won't eat.
I ordered from Box Fresh this week for only the second time, but it made me wonder why I don't do it more often - in future, I will! A small Mum and Baby box had my fridge looking pretty stocked, but a regular probably wouldn't go astray in families that go through lots of fresh food or like to cook extra and freeze (both things I would like to say about myself but, alas, I am flawed).
Another idea a friend had was to chuck any leftover vegies into a pot with some stock and herbs at the end of each week and voila - a healthy and delicious soup. Again, I probably won't do this but I'm just throwing it out there for the frugal and organised amongst you.
Stay fresh! (ha)
Z xx
I tried Woolworths online once and while it was good for the basics, it was rubbish for the fruit and veg. I ended up with all the bruised apples, mouldy strawberries and floury tomatoes that I've become so good at weeding out over many years of training.
Recently, a friend put me onto a gem of a site called Box Fresh - you can check them out here. The basic idea is that you order roughly the quantity of fruit and veg you need for a week and they deliver you a box of what's in season, direct from the markets.
I suppose the downside is that you can't choose what you get, but personally I love this because if there's one thing I hate more than grocery shopping it's deciding what to cook. In fact this exact issue is often the cause of arguments in our household as I'm incredibly indecisive and this annoys my decisive husband so much that he refuses to make decisions, leading to stubborn cold wars in which NO ONE will dare utter what they feel like for dinner. Mature, I know.
Anyway the other FAB thing about Box Fresh is they offer special "Mum and Baby" boxes, where they throw in a little extra of the stuff bubs love to eat - potatoes, carrots, broccoli, pears etc. So you're not stuck with loads of capsicums and chilli's and ginger and other delicious stuff babies won't eat.
I ordered from Box Fresh this week for only the second time, but it made me wonder why I don't do it more often - in future, I will! A small Mum and Baby box had my fridge looking pretty stocked, but a regular probably wouldn't go astray in families that go through lots of fresh food or like to cook extra and freeze (both things I would like to say about myself but, alas, I am flawed).
 | ||
| Check out my fridge homies! |
Stay fresh! (ha)
Z xx
Friday, June 8, 2012
What I'm Reading
Okay, so us Mums don't get a great deal of time to curl up with a nice novel. Actually I got tons of reading done just after Heike was born, because I was either feeding or holding her while sleeping a LOT of the time and the Kindle app on my phone saved my sanity (just). But these days I have one very active little girl on my hands, and the time I do get to myself during the day is usually used for washing, cooking, eating or showering. Don't even get me started on trying to read at night in be-zzzzzzz.....
Still, I think it's important to take the time to read, firstly because I am a MASSIVE fan of reading in general and life just wouldn't be the same without it, and secondly because it is a stimulating activity that gets your mind ticking over. Unlike, say, peek-a-boo. So perhaps reading is even more essential for us stay at home Mums who get very little mental stimulation!
At the moment I'm reading 2.5 books - finishing one, part way through another and just purchased the third. I always seem to be reading more than one book at a time, which accurately reflects my inability to focus on any one thing for longer than ten minutes. The two I'm reading are REALLY GOOD and the third I'm REALLY EXCITED ABOUT so I thought I'd give y'all the lowdown.
1) Hope: A Tragedy - Shalom Auslander
So I'm reading this book for a book club I'm meant to attend but have only been to once, almost a year ago. The book club for this book has actually already taken place and I missed it - d'oh. But I do try to read the books despite my fledgling attendance because my mates involved with the book club have FABULOUS taste.
This book is so awesome. Basically it's about a neurotic, depressing and probably insane Jewish man who finds a rather famous Holocaust victim/survivor living in his attic. This doesn't sound very hilarious (or does it?) but it is. I have scoffed and chortled (the most accurate words to describe the sounds I made) frequently while reading it. It's really well written and easy to read - and the two don't always go together. I won't spoil it by banging on about it but I will recommend it - go forth and purchase thee a copy. (Preferably from Oscar & Friends in Surry Hills or Double Bay).
2) We Need To Talk About Kevin - Lionel Shriver
You've probably all heard about this one but I'll go there anyway. Not long after I had Heiks I entered a competition to win tickets to the movie of the same name - We Need To Talk About Kevin. I'd actually never heard of it but entered anyway and won, so decided to take my sister for a girls night.
Oh what a barrel of fun and laughs the evening turned out to be! Such a lovely, jovial time was had! Sarcasm noted.
This story is seriously disturbing. Essentially it explores the idea that children can be born "evil". Such a nice thing to have in the back of your mind when your own child is up screaming at 2am! I didn't even see the ending to this one coming, and not to big note myself (I'm awesome) I can almost always tell how a movie is going to end. Hecticcccc.
Anyway some friends have since told me how the book is way better than the movie and goes into a lot more detail, and despite the grim nature of the story I simply can't not read a book I've been told is better than the movie. (Side note: What kind of sick human beings would refuse to read the Harry Potter books even though they like the movies and every person who has read the books will tell them how much better the books are? I think these people are born evil).
So, so far so good on the "better than the movie" count, I'm really enjoying the details in the book as much as I'm not enjoying reading about a sociopathic murderous eight year old.
3) The Little Book of Anxiety - Kerry Sackville
I read Kerry Sackville's blog and she is flipping hilarious. She isn't afraid to take the piss out of herself and she writes about motherhood in such an open, honest way. Check it out here and prepare to be converted.
Anyway, when her latest book was released I got a little bit excited, not only because she had written it but because it was about anxiety, which I mildly suffer from myself. (MILDLY!). I knew that Kerry's talent for making light of big issues would immediately make me feel better about my own tendency to uh, stress. I'd also read she is actually super anxious, so I would thus feel better about myself by reading her stories, shaking my head and saying "Wow, girl, you loco!".
Silly me had forgotten all about the book until Kerry's face popped up on one of the morning programs this morning, and I promptly purchased myself a copy - that's the beauty of a Kindle, peeps.
Am really looking forward to sinking my head into this one!
What have you read lately that I simply must read?
Z xx
Still, I think it's important to take the time to read, firstly because I am a MASSIVE fan of reading in general and life just wouldn't be the same without it, and secondly because it is a stimulating activity that gets your mind ticking over. Unlike, say, peek-a-boo. So perhaps reading is even more essential for us stay at home Mums who get very little mental stimulation!
At the moment I'm reading 2.5 books - finishing one, part way through another and just purchased the third. I always seem to be reading more than one book at a time, which accurately reflects my inability to focus on any one thing for longer than ten minutes. The two I'm reading are REALLY GOOD and the third I'm REALLY EXCITED ABOUT so I thought I'd give y'all the lowdown.
1) Hope: A Tragedy - Shalom Auslander
So I'm reading this book for a book club I'm meant to attend but have only been to once, almost a year ago. The book club for this book has actually already taken place and I missed it - d'oh. But I do try to read the books despite my fledgling attendance because my mates involved with the book club have FABULOUS taste.
This book is so awesome. Basically it's about a neurotic, depressing and probably insane Jewish man who finds a rather famous Holocaust victim/survivor living in his attic. This doesn't sound very hilarious (or does it?) but it is. I have scoffed and chortled (the most accurate words to describe the sounds I made) frequently while reading it. It's really well written and easy to read - and the two don't always go together. I won't spoil it by banging on about it but I will recommend it - go forth and purchase thee a copy. (Preferably from Oscar & Friends in Surry Hills or Double Bay).
 | ||
| Hope: A Tragedy |
2) We Need To Talk About Kevin - Lionel Shriver
You've probably all heard about this one but I'll go there anyway. Not long after I had Heiks I entered a competition to win tickets to the movie of the same name - We Need To Talk About Kevin. I'd actually never heard of it but entered anyway and won, so decided to take my sister for a girls night.
Oh what a barrel of fun and laughs the evening turned out to be! Such a lovely, jovial time was had! Sarcasm noted.
This story is seriously disturbing. Essentially it explores the idea that children can be born "evil". Such a nice thing to have in the back of your mind when your own child is up screaming at 2am! I didn't even see the ending to this one coming, and not to big note myself (I'm awesome) I can almost always tell how a movie is going to end. Hecticcccc.
Anyway some friends have since told me how the book is way better than the movie and goes into a lot more detail, and despite the grim nature of the story I simply can't not read a book I've been told is better than the movie. (Side note: What kind of sick human beings would refuse to read the Harry Potter books even though they like the movies and every person who has read the books will tell them how much better the books are? I think these people are born evil).
So, so far so good on the "better than the movie" count, I'm really enjoying the details in the book as much as I'm not enjoying reading about a sociopathic murderous eight year old.
 |
| If only they had talked about Kevin... |
3) The Little Book of Anxiety - Kerry Sackville
I read Kerry Sackville's blog and she is flipping hilarious. She isn't afraid to take the piss out of herself and she writes about motherhood in such an open, honest way. Check it out here and prepare to be converted.
Anyway, when her latest book was released I got a little bit excited, not only because she had written it but because it was about anxiety, which I mildly suffer from myself. (MILDLY!). I knew that Kerry's talent for making light of big issues would immediately make me feel better about my own tendency to uh, stress. I'd also read she is actually super anxious, so I would thus feel better about myself by reading her stories, shaking my head and saying "Wow, girl, you loco!".
Silly me had forgotten all about the book until Kerry's face popped up on one of the morning programs this morning, and I promptly purchased myself a copy - that's the beauty of a Kindle, peeps.
Am really looking forward to sinking my head into this one!
 | ||
| Anxiety, Shmanxmiety |
What have you read lately that I simply must read?
Z xx
Monday, June 4, 2012
New Etsy Purchase!
I have to admit, I could spend the best part of a day on Etsy. There is just SO MUCH to look at, and so much of it is hand made and beautiful. I was actually an Etsy fan pre-baby, but post-baby I've gone a little bit Etsy mad.
Unfortunately, I don't actually purchase anywhere near as much as I'd like to due to, ahem, financial limitations, but I'm on there a couple of times a week ogling and favourite-ing my most coveted items.
This week I've been getting REALLY excited about our impending trip to Germany, particularly after chatting with my sister in law and hearing how excited her kids are about meeting Heiks, and speaking with some good friends of ours who we will be catching up with over there. My excitement has caused me to get thinking about Heike's wardrobe, because of cause all her current clothes are wintry and, mon dieu, she simply must have some gorgeous summer outfits to impress all my in laws!
I've bought a few things from Next, a fab UK site you can check out here, and Justus bought Heike a few super cute things from Baby Gap when he was in the states. But Etsy has lots of beautiful, unique things that Justus' crafty family will appreciate.
Today I bought this REALLY cute bubble suit on Etsy, from a shop called Handmaidens Cottage. She sews lots of cute, vintage inspired baby outfits and also some awesome womens "aprons" that you can wear over dresses for that very cool, 50s look that I'd love to rock but can't quite pull off.
If you haven't explored Etsy yet, get on it - www.etsy.com. Warning: it is addictive.
Z xx
Unfortunately, I don't actually purchase anywhere near as much as I'd like to due to, ahem, financial limitations, but I'm on there a couple of times a week ogling and favourite-ing my most coveted items.
This week I've been getting REALLY excited about our impending trip to Germany, particularly after chatting with my sister in law and hearing how excited her kids are about meeting Heiks, and speaking with some good friends of ours who we will be catching up with over there. My excitement has caused me to get thinking about Heike's wardrobe, because of cause all her current clothes are wintry and, mon dieu, she simply must have some gorgeous summer outfits to impress all my in laws!
I've bought a few things from Next, a fab UK site you can check out here, and Justus bought Heike a few super cute things from Baby Gap when he was in the states. But Etsy has lots of beautiful, unique things that Justus' crafty family will appreciate.
Today I bought this REALLY cute bubble suit on Etsy, from a shop called Handmaidens Cottage. She sews lots of cute, vintage inspired baby outfits and also some awesome womens "aprons" that you can wear over dresses for that very cool, 50s look that I'd love to rock but can't quite pull off.
 |
| "It's So Minnie" baby bubble. "It's So Cute" |
If you haven't explored Etsy yet, get on it - www.etsy.com. Warning: it is addictive.
Z xx
Saturday, June 2, 2012
My Old Friend, Anxiety
I've seen those ads on TV recently informing me that 1 in 7 Australians suffer from Anxiety. Are those just the ones who've been diagnosed? I think we all experience anxiety to a certain extent - worry over whether we're too fat, too thin, talk too much, don't talk enough, aren't doing what we wanted with our life blah blah blah. But when you're prone to mental illness, or simply a naturally paranoid person with a brain that just won't stop thinking (hola!), anxiety can get a little more out of control.
I've always been a naturally anxious person, which I think is inherited from my mother who has been known to call nine times and leave three desperate messages if I don't answer my phone the first time she calls - "ARE YOU OKAY?". Yes Mum, it's 6.30am, I'm just sleeping. But as irritating as I find her incessant worrying, it's even worse to recognise those traits in myself. And they're just getting worse as I get older.
Having a baby has been the worst possible thing for me anxiety wise. When I was pregnant I was CONSTANTLY convinced that I was going to lose the baby, or something was wrong with the baby, or the baby wasn't moving enough. In fact I may have been monitored in hospital more than once because of reduced fetal movement - whether that was real or purely psychological, we'll never know. Little did I know that once I actually HAD the baby, I would be legitimately worried about something 100% of the time.
Here is a list of just some of my current, crippling anxieties:
- Heike is bigger and taller than all her friends: will she stop growing and will she fit in?
- Heike is not crawling: when will she crawl?
- Heike hates having her hands touched: is there something wrong with her hands?
- Sometimes* I look at my iPhone while Heike is playing: am I a bad mother?
- Sometimes I give Heike crackers instead of lunch: am I a bad mother?
- I hate the smell of fish so I don't make it enough for Heike: am I a bad mother?
- The other night I didn't give Heike a bath because I couldn't be bothered: am I a bad mother?
- The other day I laughed really loudly at something in front of lots of people: do they think I am a loud laughing freak?
*often
You get the gist. The problem is that these thoughts are on constant rotation in my brain, to the point where it is sometimes hard to concentrate on other things. Like, um, living and mothering. Okay, I wasn't going to bring this up but in the interest of the story, I might as well tell you that I drove to Woolworths on Tuesday with my wallet on top of the car. !!?&@!. Luckily, it was still there when I got there - I only realised after looking for it for five minutes and uttering more than a few obsecenities.
Sadly, this was not the only story of vagueness to feature this week. On Wednesday (yes, the very next day) I left my NAPPY BAG in the CAR PARK, right next to where my car had been parked just one minute earlier. Because of the way these things tend to happen to me, I realised the energetic waving, shouting and general commotion in the car park as I drove out was probably related to me pretty much straight away. I pulled over, still not sure what was going on but certain I had done something stupid. The nice man who had pulled into my park after me was running towards me, clutching said nappy bag, while onlookers shook their heads in disbelief - who leaves their bag in the car park? is what my mind was sure they were saying. WHAT KIND OF A MOTHER IS SHE?
In all seriousness, I recounted the "incidents" to Justus with absolute certainty that it was my ridiculous, overworked mind causing me to lose the plot. In typical fashion, he told me that I really need to get over it and spend less time on my iPhone. Which is true because I also frequently Google diseases and conditions that I imagine me or my family members to have. Still, I really do need to try to be less anxious - it's not healthy for anyone.
The one benefit of being anxious is that you are never shocked when terrible things happen, because you are constantly convinced that everyone is going to die and the world is going to end but you'll still be here, all alone. So I'm rarely disappointed by life, in fact usually I'm pleasantly surprised by it.
Z xx
I've always been a naturally anxious person, which I think is inherited from my mother who has been known to call nine times and leave three desperate messages if I don't answer my phone the first time she calls - "ARE YOU OKAY?". Yes Mum, it's 6.30am, I'm just sleeping. But as irritating as I find her incessant worrying, it's even worse to recognise those traits in myself. And they're just getting worse as I get older.
Having a baby has been the worst possible thing for me anxiety wise. When I was pregnant I was CONSTANTLY convinced that I was going to lose the baby, or something was wrong with the baby, or the baby wasn't moving enough. In fact I may have been monitored in hospital more than once because of reduced fetal movement - whether that was real or purely psychological, we'll never know. Little did I know that once I actually HAD the baby, I would be legitimately worried about something 100% of the time.
Here is a list of just some of my current, crippling anxieties:
- Heike is bigger and taller than all her friends: will she stop growing and will she fit in?
- Heike is not crawling: when will she crawl?
- Heike hates having her hands touched: is there something wrong with her hands?
- Sometimes* I look at my iPhone while Heike is playing: am I a bad mother?
- Sometimes I give Heike crackers instead of lunch: am I a bad mother?
- I hate the smell of fish so I don't make it enough for Heike: am I a bad mother?
- The other night I didn't give Heike a bath because I couldn't be bothered: am I a bad mother?
- The other day I laughed really loudly at something in front of lots of people: do they think I am a loud laughing freak?
*often
You get the gist. The problem is that these thoughts are on constant rotation in my brain, to the point where it is sometimes hard to concentrate on other things. Like, um, living and mothering. Okay, I wasn't going to bring this up but in the interest of the story, I might as well tell you that I drove to Woolworths on Tuesday with my wallet on top of the car. !!?&@!. Luckily, it was still there when I got there - I only realised after looking for it for five minutes and uttering more than a few obsecenities.
Sadly, this was not the only story of vagueness to feature this week. On Wednesday (yes, the very next day) I left my NAPPY BAG in the CAR PARK, right next to where my car had been parked just one minute earlier. Because of the way these things tend to happen to me, I realised the energetic waving, shouting and general commotion in the car park as I drove out was probably related to me pretty much straight away. I pulled over, still not sure what was going on but certain I had done something stupid. The nice man who had pulled into my park after me was running towards me, clutching said nappy bag, while onlookers shook their heads in disbelief - who leaves their bag in the car park? is what my mind was sure they were saying. WHAT KIND OF A MOTHER IS SHE?
In all seriousness, I recounted the "incidents" to Justus with absolute certainty that it was my ridiculous, overworked mind causing me to lose the plot. In typical fashion, he told me that I really need to get over it and spend less time on my iPhone. Which is true because I also frequently Google diseases and conditions that I imagine me or my family members to have. Still, I really do need to try to be less anxious - it's not healthy for anyone.
The one benefit of being anxious is that you are never shocked when terrible things happen, because you are constantly convinced that everyone is going to die and the world is going to end but you'll still be here, all alone. So I'm rarely disappointed by life, in fact usually I'm pleasantly surprised by it.
Z xx
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