Sleep...Again

No matter how many issues POBs (Parents of Babies) may have, it always comes back to sleep. If a baby is sleeping well, all those other issues - teething, eating, feeding, breathing - fade into the background. Yes, a good sleeper is the Holy Grail of parenthood.

It makes sense. A rested baby is a happy baby, full stop. Furthermore, a rested baby means a rested, fed, showered and relaxed mum which means a happy mum which means a happy baby. Finally, there is nothing, NOTHING (I said nooooothing!) worse than an overtired baby. A chronically overtired baby is a beast that can only be conquered by the most patient, persistent and heavily wined up of parents.

When Heike was a teeny wee lass of just a few weeks, she was frequently in the chronically overtired category. I cried. Oh how I cried. At one point I actually thought "Please God don't let me be one of those mothers who locks themselves in a room away from their baby - or worse" because I legitimately did not know what to do. It was AWFUL, bloody awful. But eventually we got into the swing of things, and I learnt to get her down before she reached that point of screaming uncontrollably for four straight hours (FOUR. STRAIGHT. HOURS). So I get that sleep is important.

Sleep is also the thing everyone is interested in - "How's the baby, sleeping well for you?". Heck, I even preempt them with a "Heike's going really well, she sleeps through." I suppose since it does occupy roughly a third of all of our lives, sleep is kind of a big deal.

But as important as it is, sleep is sadly the one thing you can never quite lock down, can never file away in the "All Sorted" folder. At least until your child is, say, 15 - although even then you'll be worrying that they sleep too much.

At mother's group, sleep is one of the hottest topics - and I can (gladly!) say that not one of the babies is a by-the-clock, guaranteed sleeper of certain hours. Granted, some are better than others and thankfully Heiks is a good sleeper as far as they go, but no one can really say for sure just what hours their baby sleeps.

One friend:

"Fifi generally sleeps from about 7.30 to 6 but since daylight savings I haven't been able to keep her up, and the other morning she woke at ten past four. She usually has two day time sleeps but if she wakes up early she might need a third, or if she has a short nap she might need a third, or if she is tired, she might also need a third. But she really hates having a third and I can't usually get her down."

Riiiiight.

Heike is much the same. I can never say for sure what she'll do on any given day, and give myself a mental high five if she sleeps past 5.30am. Sleep is the one thing I can't control, and not being in control is scary, especially for a control freak.

Why do we have such high expectations when it comes to sleep? Could it be that everyone over 45 is quick to tell us how their babies slept through by 8 weeks? Beware of these smug creatures - sleeping through can mean anything over five hours straight, not to mention it's easy to remember what your baby "generally" did with the benefit of hindsight - when she's in her cot giggling at 4.45am, it's far easier to forget that she usually sleeps well.

So guess what? If your baby isn't a perfect sleeper - nobody else's is either. It's all good. Take a deep breath, and release. Then try to catch a few z's, while you can.

Z x