The title of this post is inspired by a recent experience in music class. We've been going to music since H was not quite 6 months old, and we love it. As you can imagine, after more than a year of attendance H not only knows the drill but rules the roost. It's in her personality - she loves to show off and be the boss, and is usually the dominant personality in any group or pairing (sigh). I already genuinely feel sorry for her future teachers.
We've just started a new term and are in our last term of 1-2 years classes, so not only is H the second oldest and bossiest in the group, but there was an influx of unfamiliar, younger toddlers.
This didn't sit well with our Madame (whose name means "Ruler of the House" - what were we thinking?!). Unfortunately, whenever things aren't quite going her way she tends to lash out. And by lash out, I mean hit.
I have what is probably the textbook "wrong" reaction to these outbursts, which is to reprimand her loudly, force her to say sorry and then apologise effusively to the parents and victim. Recently the carers at daycare have told me to say "It makes Milly feel sad when you hit her, and it hurts - don't hit", and I do try this. It's just not that easy to react rationally when you feel the wrath of a wounded parent (whose child, incidentally, couldn't care less) bearing down on you.
Anyway, on this particular occassion H hit a little girl who was probably a few months younger than her, and her Mum reacted by firmly saying"Swiper no Swiping!"!?! I think the Mum just genuinely didn't know how to react, much as I don't know how to react on the other end, but I couldn't help but laugh. We are big Dora fans in our house and the reprimand made H squeal with delight.
Being the mother of a little swiper isn't easy though, let me tell you! You constantly feel judged, worried and terrified of playgrounds. You're always wondering if you're reacting appropriately, if you're strict enough, if there's something off in their moral fibre that makes them physically abusive and if all the other parents are whispering about your violent child behind your back! While I know logically that MANY toddlers hit, push or bite, it can frequently feel like yours is the only one.
Visiting a play centre two weeks ago, we were on the other end of the exchange. H was playing happily with a toy train when a much smaller toddler (about 14 months) approached her and latched onto her hand - with his mouth! He bit her pretty hard and sort of gnawed on her hand for a couple of seconds. It all happened pretty quickly but by the time I stepped in she was devastated and had some pretty impressive bite marks on her little hand.
The boy's mother was horrified and had been distracted by her two older kids fighting. I felt for her. I have walked MANY miles in her shoes (well, somewhat less bitey and more hitty shoes) and realistically know there is no way you can control a 14 month old's behaviour, only encourage the good and discourage the bad. I'm sure this little boy will bite a few more kids before he learns it's not on.
Still, it's not nice to see your child get hurt. I was really understanding with the little boy's Mum and agreed that yes, they all do it. She seemed to appreciate that. But I did gain some insight into how it feels to see your child be on the receiving end. So I guess I'll be a little more understanding of those glowering mothers in the future!
Z x
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Slack Mum
In a former life, I worked as a Nanny. I really enjoyed this job but was ready to move on by the end - looking after someone else's child isn't always rosy! My "charge" if you will was the six year old daughter of a very successful single Mum. I feel SO ashamed to admit this now but I quite often thought this lovely Mum could be a bit slack at times. She was an awesome Mum but working full time meant she didn't really have her finger on the pulse when it came to school life - parents reading time, canteen, mufty days etc.
Since having my own child I have realised two things;
1) Never, ever judge a single Mum, ever, and;
2) Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
YES, that's right, I am a slack Mum. You know, the type who always has rotten food in the bottom of the nappy bag. The type who can't guarantee the water in her daughter's bottle isn't, like, three weeks old. The type who FORGETS major events in their child's life.
Today, I forgot that it was Crazy Hair Day at daycare. I rocked up to find a woman I've never met before with long, teased hair in two Pippy Longstockinngs style ponytails at the sides of her head. Well, here's a character, I thought. Good for her.
As I rounded the corner and caught a glimpse of H's favourite carer sporting a similar 'do, realisation dawned. It's Wednesday. Wednesday 29th May. I have received SEVERAL communications in the past week informing me that Wednesday 29th May is indeed Crazy Hair Day. Fuck.
Nothing in my life to this date could have prepared me for the guilt and sorrow I would feel as three toddlers entered the room behind us with a blue mohawk, numerous braids and an abundance of curled ribbons respectively. When H is the only girl not invited to Stella's 8th Birthday party, I may need to be placed on suicide watch.
Anyway, I never pictured myself being 'that' mother. I really thought I'd be, you know, the canteen Mum, the volunteer Mum, the Mother's Day Stall organising Mum. I think we all want to be theperfect mother who always has a fresh slice baking in the oven and perfect, blow dried hair. You know, before we have kids and discover we are lucky to get out of the house in a clean outfit.
I have a new ambition. Since it seems inevitable that I will be the mother who loses permission slips, has live organisms living in her car and runs out of hairbands on a weekly basis, I'm going to be the fun Mum. You know, the one who doesn't give a shit about food in the car because she's too busy singing along to Taylor Swift with her daughter and all her friends. The Mum who lets the kids take drinks upstairs. The Mum who doesn't always need hairbands, because life's too short to worry about messy hair and who knows, it just might be crazy hair day.
Z x
Since having my own child I have realised two things;
1) Never, ever judge a single Mum, ever, and;
2) Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
YES, that's right, I am a slack Mum. You know, the type who always has rotten food in the bottom of the nappy bag. The type who can't guarantee the water in her daughter's bottle isn't, like, three weeks old. The type who FORGETS major events in their child's life.
Today, I forgot that it was Crazy Hair Day at daycare. I rocked up to find a woman I've never met before with long, teased hair in two Pippy Longstockinngs style ponytails at the sides of her head. Well, here's a character, I thought. Good for her.
As I rounded the corner and caught a glimpse of H's favourite carer sporting a similar 'do, realisation dawned. It's Wednesday. Wednesday 29th May. I have received SEVERAL communications in the past week informing me that Wednesday 29th May is indeed Crazy Hair Day. Fuck.
Nothing in my life to this date could have prepared me for the guilt and sorrow I would feel as three toddlers entered the room behind us with a blue mohawk, numerous braids and an abundance of curled ribbons respectively. When H is the only girl not invited to Stella's 8th Birthday party, I may need to be placed on suicide watch.
Anyway, I never pictured myself being 'that' mother. I really thought I'd be, you know, the canteen Mum, the volunteer Mum, the Mother's Day Stall organising Mum. I think we all want to be theperfect mother who always has a fresh slice baking in the oven and perfect, blow dried hair. You know, before we have kids and discover we are lucky to get out of the house in a clean outfit.
I have a new ambition. Since it seems inevitable that I will be the mother who loses permission slips, has live organisms living in her car and runs out of hairbands on a weekly basis, I'm going to be the fun Mum. You know, the one who doesn't give a shit about food in the car because she's too busy singing along to Taylor Swift with her daughter and all her friends. The Mum who lets the kids take drinks upstairs. The Mum who doesn't always need hairbands, because life's too short to worry about messy hair and who knows, it just might be crazy hair day.
Z x
Pump It
I'm on a bit of a health kick at the moment - oh, who am I kidding, I'm always on some kind of health kick! I think this is essentially due to a combination of a genuine love of food, lack of willpower and struggle with vanity. I love to eat, I frequently overindulge and counteract this with mini health-kicks so I can still look somewhat the way I want to!
Further to this I'm seeing a Chinese herbalist, who has recommended I steer clear of dairy, protein and sugar. So basically everything I love eating. YAY!
I'm so NOT extreme about anything in life and you can very easily twist my arm on just about any issue, which is actually a quality I like about myself - I'm pretty easygoing. That said, I've been impressed with my ability to steer clear of most contraband most of the time these past few weeks.(Friday pizza nights not withstanding)
Further to nourishing my body food-wise, I've started exercising again! I have a complex relationship with exercise. I actually genuinely enjoy it but am inherently lazy ("easygoing"?) and tend not to make time for it as often as I should.
To counteract this, I decided to join a Mums and Bubs fitness group. This means I can take H, who can sometimes be difficult to entertain at home anyway, and meet other Mums while getting all the physical and mental benefits of a good work out. I'm also motivated to get up and go because I'm held accountable.
I've only been going for two weeks but I LOVE it!! I feel naturally energised, more confident and proud of myself for going. If you're interested, simply type "Mums and Bubs Group Fitness" into Google and you'll get a TON of results, or alternatively this link recommends some good class options.
Whenever I'm feeling uninspired, all I need to do is get some quick inspiration by looking at the Mayo Clinic's Seven Benefits of Exercise:
Happy excercising!
Z x
Further to this I'm seeing a Chinese herbalist, who has recommended I steer clear of dairy, protein and sugar. So basically everything I love eating. YAY!
I'm so NOT extreme about anything in life and you can very easily twist my arm on just about any issue, which is actually a quality I like about myself - I'm pretty easygoing. That said, I've been impressed with my ability to steer clear of most contraband most of the time these past few weeks.(Friday pizza nights not withstanding)
Further to nourishing my body food-wise, I've started exercising again! I have a complex relationship with exercise. I actually genuinely enjoy it but am inherently lazy ("easygoing"?) and tend not to make time for it as often as I should.
To counteract this, I decided to join a Mums and Bubs fitness group. This means I can take H, who can sometimes be difficult to entertain at home anyway, and meet other Mums while getting all the physical and mental benefits of a good work out. I'm also motivated to get up and go because I'm held accountable.
I've only been going for two weeks but I LOVE it!! I feel naturally energised, more confident and proud of myself for going. If you're interested, simply type "Mums and Bubs Group Fitness" into Google and you'll get a TON of results, or alternatively this link recommends some good class options.
Whenever I'm feeling uninspired, all I need to do is get some quick inspiration by looking at the Mayo Clinic's Seven Benefits of Exercise:
1: Exercise controls weight
2: Exercise combats health conditions and diseases
3: Exercise improves mood
4: Exercise boosts energy
5: Exercise promotes better sleep6: Exercise puts the spark back into your sex life
7: Exercise can be fun
Yeah! Another excellent motivator is all the amazing exercise clothing out there at the moment. Hello, Lululemon, Lorna Jane and Nike! Here is some inspiration to get you started.
Nike AirMax Shoes, $180
Lorna Jane Tights, $100
 | ||||
| Lululemon Run Swiftly Top, $89 |
Happy excercising!
Z x
Monday, May 27, 2013
M.I.A
I've completely neglected this blog of late, focusing my attention on another project I'm hoping to get off the ground and generally just working and playing hard. I'm well and truly the mother of a toddler now, with my little girl turning two in September, and that brings with it some very unique rewards and challenges.
Still, I stumbled upon my blog today and had a read from a fresh perspective. It's funny (and often embarrassing!) to catch a glimpse of yourself from an outsider's point of view, but one thing I did realise was how cathartic it was for me to have a personal blog to vent on, and how much my writing has improved over time. I'm learning, gradually, to express myself with LESS words, a lesson that's long overdue!
On both the family front and the career front, we're embarking on a new phase. We're looking to expand our family - something we never even had to think about the first time around. This time, there's planning required, there are some physical and practical issues to consider. A whole new ball game. So I think there are some insights to be found there.
Meanwhile, I'm throwing myself back into the things I'm passionate about. I've realised that life is short - too short to spend not living it to the fullest! So there are a few little projects and adventures in the works.
Stay tuned - hopefully I can breathe fresh life and new possibilities into my little blog.
Z xx
Still, I stumbled upon my blog today and had a read from a fresh perspective. It's funny (and often embarrassing!) to catch a glimpse of yourself from an outsider's point of view, but one thing I did realise was how cathartic it was for me to have a personal blog to vent on, and how much my writing has improved over time. I'm learning, gradually, to express myself with LESS words, a lesson that's long overdue!
On both the family front and the career front, we're embarking on a new phase. We're looking to expand our family - something we never even had to think about the first time around. This time, there's planning required, there are some physical and practical issues to consider. A whole new ball game. So I think there are some insights to be found there.
Meanwhile, I'm throwing myself back into the things I'm passionate about. I've realised that life is short - too short to spend not living it to the fullest! So there are a few little projects and adventures in the works.
Stay tuned - hopefully I can breathe fresh life and new possibilities into my little blog.
Z xx
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