We've recently put our two kids, currently aged 3.5 and 10 months, into the same room. Prior to that baby W was sleeping in our room and it wasn't working for a couple of reasons - J tosses and turns all night and W is a light sleeper, plus we were ready to get our room back. He's a big healthy boy now and it just felt like time for him to move out.
We do actually have three bedrooms in our house, but the third room is downstairs at the very front of the house and we couldn't work out which child we would banish down there without feeling guilty! We also have no family nearby, which means we often have family come to stay and use the third bedroom for guests. Plus we have no storage, so the wardrobes in our spare room are packed with vacuum cleaners, ironing boards, picnic baskets and pram accessories that would be displaced if we were to fill it with a child's belongings.
So they're in together. And so far it's going okay - we've had just one incidence of them waking one another up, which wasn't as awful as it could have been. Given I was so worried about them sharing and how to manage the logistics of it, I thought I'd share what I've learnt so far for those who are thinking of having their little ones, particularly a toddler and an infant, share a room.
1) Stagger Bed Times
This has been fairly easy for us given W goes down to bed at 7pm and H more like 7.30. That said, there are days when he for example has a long afternoon nap and she has woken up early that morning, and she probably needs to go to bed earlier than him or at the same time. This has not worked for us! First of all, what three year old will accept going to bed before their baby sibling?! Certainly not mine, who aims to assert authority over her brother at all times. Meanwhile putting them to bed together? Forget about it! Too much giggling and crazy carry on, resulting in overtired tears from everyone (possibly even Mum). If you know your toddler is tired, make sure your infant is going to be ready for bed by their usual time, and encourage lots of quiet activity in Mum and Dad's bedroom in the early evening to maintain your usual staggered bed times.
2) Be Smart about Nap Times
W still naps twice a day, morning and afternoon. H is currently on summer holidays but goes back to preschool this Wednesday, which means she will be out of the house most days for his morning nap. But for the last few weeks I've had to keep her out of her room (which has a little play room attached to it full of her toys) for 3-4 hours a day. This has been tricky at times, especially if she's had a friend over and wanted to play upstairs. I've found it's very important to prepare her for the nap by telling her 20 minutes or so before, and asking what she'd like to bring out of her room. This has actually been a great thing to do regardless, as she's bringing things out that often don't see the light of day, and making up lots of new games. W's afternoon nap time is "rest time" for us, so we'll either read books and colour together or watch TV. I'll be honest, we mostly watch an hour of TV - it guarantees she is quiet and restful, and most importantly she doesn't wake up her brother!
3) Set Clear Guidelines about Space
I think this is so important and something that we're only just beginning to do. Like adults each child needs their own space, somewhere they can relax and feel safe and somewhere that reflects their personalities and interests. They also need their own things - special things that are theirs and theirs alone. It's completely possible to achieve this in a shared room, but you need to set guidelines. We've only just started to talk about what area belongs to whom and who owns what. Of course W doesn't really have or need a lot, but we're in the process of setting up his side of the room with some shelves and ornaments, while kind of "girling up" H's side - I'm really not one to go all out on pink but she so is. It's also essential for when arguments break out as they always will, and makes it so much easier to referee ("You know this is her space/his bed/her quiet area" etc.).
4) Be Flexible
Sharing is always going to be more complicated than each child having their own room. There will be fights, there will be disaster nap times and there will be nights when they wake each other up. But there are also loads of benefits. Sharing teaches life skills and can be fun, plus it limits general child mess to one room (or at least, eliminates it from the spare room!). It's good to remember that one bad day doesn't mean you're failing, because it can really feel like it at the time.
Anyone else have any room sharing tips they'd like to share? I'm interested to see how my two both-very-assertive children go as they grow!
Z x
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Monday, January 26, 2015
Friday, June 28, 2013
The Terrible Two-ish-es
Surely there is nothing cuter than a two year old at their cutest. Still compact and chubby, all toothy and smiley, lisping and swapping v's for b's, saying something totally sweet and random. There is nothing more heartwarming and satisfying than watching your own (almost) two-year-old being adorable.
Conversely, there is surely nothing more infuriating, exasperating and downright frightening than a two year old in the full throes of a tantrum. Particularly your own (almost) two-year-old, who somehow has the power to make your heart beat outside of your chest and your hair stand on end, sprouting a few greys like you see in animations. I'm shuddering just thinking about it.
My Mum said a couple of weeks ago that she thinks my daughter went through the terrible twos at 14 months old. This is because she went through a particularly bad patch of behaviour around then but improved greatly more recently. Well, I'm going to have to break it to Mum that that period was NOT in fact the terrible twos. We have entered a much darker age, an age much nearer to two, that is fraught with many more obstacles and MUCH louder screaming that I do believe to be the fateful aforementioned "phase".
Now it must be known that I JEST, somewhat. Of course it isn't all bad and please see above - two year olds are viciously cute. Mine included. But seriously, they are hardcore. They can be terrifying, sometimes multiple times in one day. They can make you wonder if you are in the real life version of Damien.
I think the main difficulty is how completely IRRATIONAL their behaviour seems (and is) at times. How the smallest things can cause a complete meltdown. Doing my research into this happy phase, I've found that this is actually because toddlers of this age have the ability to think that something is very important and pressing, but no concept of "others," and therefore no idea that we wouldn't find the issue equally as pertinent. Which makes you feel kind of sorry for them, really.
Recently, while dealing with these fun new behaviours, J and I discovered the Australian Government's parenting website, raisingchildren.net.au. It's actually a great resource, with lots of articles, tips, advice and even videos with examples of different techniques and reassuring footage of other kids behaving just the way yours does! A lot of the advice is fairly common sense, but it's a great reminder when things are becoming a bit too much.
I'm attending a parenting workshop with some fellow mums from my Mother's Group in a few weeks time, and I will definitely share my insights with you all. I can't wait to ask questions specific to my child, and get some fresh ideas on approaches to take and technique's to use.
Meanwhile, here are a few examples of terrible two behaviour we have dealt with this week, that I can laugh about in retrospect!:
- H finding a pair of my underwear in the dirty clothing basket, putting them on and calling them "Princess Undies". When I realised they weren't washed I made her take them off and then had to go through my entire underwear drawer to the sound of her screaming "PRINCESS UNDIEEEEES!" until I found another pair to her liking.
- H refusing to get dress until I found a top with a sequined pocket that she called "Princess Top" - "PRINCESS TOP ON!" Sadly she didn't understand the concept of a pocket and thought the top was broken, which caused her to throw herself around the living room screaming "FIX IIIIIIT!" for about 15 minutes.
- Clearly not a fan of broken things, H found her butterfly wand in the carseat only to discover it was actually broken, and scream "FIX IIIIIIIIIT!" for the duration of the car trip.
- Screaming "MORE!" whenever something she was enjoying finishes, until she either a) Gets more or b) Hurts herself through tantruming, whichever comes first.
- Another amusing but not tanrum-y development is the consistent use of the phrase "No thanks!", which is used in response to just about everything including Brush Your Teeth, Time For Bed, Let's Have a Shower, Put Your Shoes On and even I'm Going to Read You a Story - "NO THANKS!"
- H looking at me, raising her hand and saying "NOT!" when I start speaking and she's not interested.......
- This week's Damien moment was when H pushed me (hard!) and I asked her to say sorry, which she refused to do. This escalated into a tantrum and at the end I hugged her and said "Well, you pushed me." I swear she looked me right in the eye, SMILED and said "Yeah!". Sweet child.
Lucky they're cute.
Z x
Conversely, there is surely nothing more infuriating, exasperating and downright frightening than a two year old in the full throes of a tantrum. Particularly your own (almost) two-year-old, who somehow has the power to make your heart beat outside of your chest and your hair stand on end, sprouting a few greys like you see in animations. I'm shuddering just thinking about it.
My Mum said a couple of weeks ago that she thinks my daughter went through the terrible twos at 14 months old. This is because she went through a particularly bad patch of behaviour around then but improved greatly more recently. Well, I'm going to have to break it to Mum that that period was NOT in fact the terrible twos. We have entered a much darker age, an age much nearer to two, that is fraught with many more obstacles and MUCH louder screaming that I do believe to be the fateful aforementioned "phase".
Now it must be known that I JEST, somewhat. Of course it isn't all bad and please see above - two year olds are viciously cute. Mine included. But seriously, they are hardcore. They can be terrifying, sometimes multiple times in one day. They can make you wonder if you are in the real life version of Damien.
I think the main difficulty is how completely IRRATIONAL their behaviour seems (and is) at times. How the smallest things can cause a complete meltdown. Doing my research into this happy phase, I've found that this is actually because toddlers of this age have the ability to think that something is very important and pressing, but no concept of "others," and therefore no idea that we wouldn't find the issue equally as pertinent. Which makes you feel kind of sorry for them, really.
Recently, while dealing with these fun new behaviours, J and I discovered the Australian Government's parenting website, raisingchildren.net.au. It's actually a great resource, with lots of articles, tips, advice and even videos with examples of different techniques and reassuring footage of other kids behaving just the way yours does! A lot of the advice is fairly common sense, but it's a great reminder when things are becoming a bit too much.
I'm attending a parenting workshop with some fellow mums from my Mother's Group in a few weeks time, and I will definitely share my insights with you all. I can't wait to ask questions specific to my child, and get some fresh ideas on approaches to take and technique's to use.
Meanwhile, here are a few examples of terrible two behaviour we have dealt with this week, that I can laugh about in retrospect!:
- H finding a pair of my underwear in the dirty clothing basket, putting them on and calling them "Princess Undies". When I realised they weren't washed I made her take them off and then had to go through my entire underwear drawer to the sound of her screaming "PRINCESS UNDIEEEEES!" until I found another pair to her liking.
- H refusing to get dress until I found a top with a sequined pocket that she called "Princess Top" - "PRINCESS TOP ON!" Sadly she didn't understand the concept of a pocket and thought the top was broken, which caused her to throw herself around the living room screaming "FIX IIIIIIT!" for about 15 minutes.
- Clearly not a fan of broken things, H found her butterfly wand in the carseat only to discover it was actually broken, and scream "FIX IIIIIIIIIT!" for the duration of the car trip.
- Screaming "MORE!" whenever something she was enjoying finishes, until she either a) Gets more or b) Hurts herself through tantruming, whichever comes first.
- Another amusing but not tanrum-y development is the consistent use of the phrase "No thanks!", which is used in response to just about everything including Brush Your Teeth, Time For Bed, Let's Have a Shower, Put Your Shoes On and even I'm Going to Read You a Story - "NO THANKS!"
- H looking at me, raising her hand and saying "NOT!" when I start speaking and she's not interested.......
- This week's Damien moment was when H pushed me (hard!) and I asked her to say sorry, which she refused to do. This escalated into a tantrum and at the end I hugged her and said "Well, you pushed me." I swear she looked me right in the eye, SMILED and said "Yeah!". Sweet child.
Lucky they're cute.
Z x
Friday, June 21, 2013
Mummy Feels Sad
Today has been interesting, to say the least. I woke up this morning before anyone else, had a shower and got ready for the day. I was feeling really organised and happy, singing and laughing as everyone else woke up and I got breakfast ready. Doesn't this just set the scene for imminent stress?!
Miss H woke up in a great mood too, but as soon as we got to music class she just was not having it. Who knows why? Maybe someone looked at her the wrong way, but given her behaviour later in the day I'm guessing she was having a bad day and just not in the mood. Anyway, she was being her usual CHARMING grumpy self, which is not very nice at all, and I was dealing with it as best I could by intervening and saying sorry and giving "time outs with Mum" and all that happy stuff.
Next thing I'm briefly engaged in conversation when Swiper, No Swiping Mother strikes again! She grabs H's arm, gets right up in her grill, points a finger in her face and says "NO!", loud and firm, three times.
Let's be clear, I know my child isn't perfect. I blogged about it recently and I'm even aware that hey, she is probably less perfect than other kids when it comes to lashing out - it's something in her personality that she will need to learn to control with age. She wears her heart firmly on her sleeve. She is just as likely to run up and plant a kiss on another child's lips as she is to run up and hit them in the face. Which, unfortunately, is pretty likely.
Still, I can't be crazy in thinking that NO mother has the right to touch or raise their voice to my child while I am right there, or just in general. Ever. I also can't fight the visceral reaction I had, which was to feel incredibly protective and upset on my daughter's behalf.
My reaction was to say nothing, despite at least three other mothers looking at me with raised eyebrows and bulging eyeballs. I couldn't risk getting upset and saying something silly. I just pulled H aside and onto my lap, whispering "You must be nice to your friends, have some time out with Mum," but also planting a big kiss on her forehead. I can't imagine it's nice to have a stranger raise their voice at you.
Unfortunately, H's reaction was to become upset, refuse to participate in any other activities, walk over to another little boy and HEADBUTT him. I was MORTIFIED. Completely mortified. So was this boy's mother.
Okay, I'm not going to go over-the-top in defense of my child who was clearly in the wrong but I will say two things. Number one, she is not even two. Not even two years old. Number two, other people interfering does NOT help matters. It makes them worse in many ways.
I am ALL FOR other parents stepping in when situations are getting out of hand or children are behaving badly. But if it's not your child, you tread carefully, no? I have frequently been in situations where it is MY child being bullied, and I usually say something like "We don't hit our friends, guys." Not "NO, NO, NO!" with a friendly grab of the wrist.
Anyway, I made her say sorry to the little boy and we promptly packed up and left. I couldn't deal. Plus, I guess it was a form of punishment, although personally I think she couldn't wait to get out of there.
AAAAAAAAAH it feels nice to get this off my chest. My girlfriend has recommended confronting Swiper No Swiping woman next week but ultimately I just don't think it's worth it. It's the last week of term, we are moving up into the two year old group and hopefully H will be able to pick on kids or own size - or better yet, they'll give her a taste of her own medicine here and there. It can't hurt!
Meanwhile, we had a huge tantrum when we got home which resulted in a head-vs-concrete situation, and H is now sporting a big purple egg on her head. She was so distraught in the wake of the accident that I ended up in tears myself, which put HER tears to an immediate stop - it made me realise that the daycare centre's advice to say "Mummy feels sad" when things get out of control will probably come in very handy.
So, Mummy does feel a bit sad today. But it's Friday, Daddy is home soon, the Wiggles are on, and let's face it - I have lots to be happy about.
Z x
Miss H woke up in a great mood too, but as soon as we got to music class she just was not having it. Who knows why? Maybe someone looked at her the wrong way, but given her behaviour later in the day I'm guessing she was having a bad day and just not in the mood. Anyway, she was being her usual CHARMING grumpy self, which is not very nice at all, and I was dealing with it as best I could by intervening and saying sorry and giving "time outs with Mum" and all that happy stuff.
Next thing I'm briefly engaged in conversation when Swiper, No Swiping Mother strikes again! She grabs H's arm, gets right up in her grill, points a finger in her face and says "NO!", loud and firm, three times.
Let's be clear, I know my child isn't perfect. I blogged about it recently and I'm even aware that hey, she is probably less perfect than other kids when it comes to lashing out - it's something in her personality that she will need to learn to control with age. She wears her heart firmly on her sleeve. She is just as likely to run up and plant a kiss on another child's lips as she is to run up and hit them in the face. Which, unfortunately, is pretty likely.
Still, I can't be crazy in thinking that NO mother has the right to touch or raise their voice to my child while I am right there, or just in general. Ever. I also can't fight the visceral reaction I had, which was to feel incredibly protective and upset on my daughter's behalf.
My reaction was to say nothing, despite at least three other mothers looking at me with raised eyebrows and bulging eyeballs. I couldn't risk getting upset and saying something silly. I just pulled H aside and onto my lap, whispering "You must be nice to your friends, have some time out with Mum," but also planting a big kiss on her forehead. I can't imagine it's nice to have a stranger raise their voice at you.
Unfortunately, H's reaction was to become upset, refuse to participate in any other activities, walk over to another little boy and HEADBUTT him. I was MORTIFIED. Completely mortified. So was this boy's mother.
Okay, I'm not going to go over-the-top in defense of my child who was clearly in the wrong but I will say two things. Number one, she is not even two. Not even two years old. Number two, other people interfering does NOT help matters. It makes them worse in many ways.
I am ALL FOR other parents stepping in when situations are getting out of hand or children are behaving badly. But if it's not your child, you tread carefully, no? I have frequently been in situations where it is MY child being bullied, and I usually say something like "We don't hit our friends, guys." Not "NO, NO, NO!" with a friendly grab of the wrist.
Anyway, I made her say sorry to the little boy and we promptly packed up and left. I couldn't deal. Plus, I guess it was a form of punishment, although personally I think she couldn't wait to get out of there.
AAAAAAAAAH it feels nice to get this off my chest. My girlfriend has recommended confronting Swiper No Swiping woman next week but ultimately I just don't think it's worth it. It's the last week of term, we are moving up into the two year old group and hopefully H will be able to pick on kids or own size - or better yet, they'll give her a taste of her own medicine here and there. It can't hurt!
Meanwhile, we had a huge tantrum when we got home which resulted in a head-vs-concrete situation, and H is now sporting a big purple egg on her head. She was so distraught in the wake of the accident that I ended up in tears myself, which put HER tears to an immediate stop - it made me realise that the daycare centre's advice to say "Mummy feels sad" when things get out of control will probably come in very handy.
So, Mummy does feel a bit sad today. But it's Friday, Daddy is home soon, the Wiggles are on, and let's face it - I have lots to be happy about.
Z x
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Auckland, You're Alright!
Warning - large post full of awesome advice ahead!
We've just returned from six fabulous days in Auckland. It was my first time in the city, and overall I really liked it. I have to admit, I wasn't overly pumped about going to Auckland of all places in New Zealand - I have always harboured (and still do...) desires to explore the South Island. That said, I was pleasantly surprised. It's a big, friendly, beautiful city with lots of hidden surprises.
Travelling with a child in tow is always a unique experience - it stops you from exploring certain parts of a city but opens up others. With that in mind, I've compiled my Top Auckland finds for the little kids AND the big ones!
Auckland For Kids
1. Waiheke Island
Just a 30 minute ferry ride from Auckland (which is enough fun for the kids in and of itself), the beautiful Waiheke Island is a tiny piece of paradise surrounded by beaches. Almost all of these beaches have a playground either on or near the beach. If you're looking for somewhere child friendly to eat, head straight to Solar Eatery & Bar - they have an outdoor play area and lots of toys to amuse the little ones. We were lucky enough to have a sleeping child in the pram at lunch time and decided to head to The Oyster Inn where we took advantage of their weekday $25 three course menu (I know!!) and enjoyed a few drinks in the sunshine - can not recommend this enough! When our child finally awoke they were VERY accommodating and had a number of high chairs on hand. Another couple enjoyed a similar length lunch with their younger toddler and the staff were amazing with him. If I ever go back to Auckland, I will hire a house on Waiheke for the duration. LOVED it.
2. The Pavilions at Britomart
We stumbled upon this area on our first morning in Auckland, a Saturday. While there are designer boutiques and cafes galore the area has a buzzing kiddy vibe about it - funny little sculptures for kids to play on, a Saturday market and the piece de resistance, a really cool giant water bubbler feature thingy! My particular breed of toddler COULD. NOT. GET. ENOUGH. of the water. Whenever we walked within 50 metres of the Britomart district for the following week, she would scream WATERRRRR! Which was excellent because it was about 14 degrees. Anyway, a fun place to take kids if you're stuck in the city.
3. The Sky Tower
Head up the Southern Hemisphere's tallest building, The Sky Tower. It's pretty cool. And while you may be experiencing vertigo and planted against the innermost walls, your child will most likely be throwing themselves at the glass windows about 1million feet from the ground in pure delight. H loved it here and we hung out in the tower for well over an hour. It's a buzzing tourist destination so is therefore full of children misbehaving, which is always relaxing for a parent whose own child tends to be...well...boistrous.
4. Auckland Zoo
What a lovely little zoo! Just a 10 minute drive from Auckland Central, this Zoo is actually, in my opinion, even more child friendly than Taronga. It's also much cheaper at $25 NZ for an adult. We were lucky enough to be approached by a lady who had a double pass, which meant that H and I got in for free! Which is another great thing about Auckland - the people. But I digress. This zoo is very flat so great tired for little legs. It also has a FANTASTIC kid zone complete with chicken coops, bunny rabbits, guinea pigs and other household pets as well as a huge enclosed slide, a large dragon sculpture and child sized tables with books to read. My favourite thing about this Zoo (most especially compared with Taronga) was the range of healthy and affordable lunch options. As we were travelling, we had been forced to eat SO MUCH CRAP kids food. Think, nuggets and chips. Here we picked up a lunch box with sandwich, fruit, corn chips and juice for $10 NZ (which is like seven Aussie bucks, for which you would get half a sandwich in Sydney). A must-see with kids.
5. Ponsonby Central
Ponsonby, Ponsonby, where do I begin? If Waiheke Island didn't exist and wasn't so gosh darn BEAUTIFUL, Ponsonby would without doubt be my top Auckland pick. LOVE. IT. For both eats and shopping, nothing else compares.
When it comes to kids, Ponsonby Central is the place to go. It's a buzzing little market place with street food, produce and cafes, and even a pretty groovy radio station by night. It's one of those places where you know kids can run riot in the little laneway and people are going to be okay with it. It's just got a great vibe. We came here a couple of times, most memorably one night for the most AMAZING pizza (I didn't take down the name of the joint, but it is the only pizza place there...) and H had a ball. She made fast friends with 2.5 year old Frankie the Lion, and quickly adopted her tiger persona, so the two roared at each other for a good 20 minutes while onlookers smiled accommodatingly. We drank red wine from tumblers and relaxed. Bliss.
6. Victoria Park and Surrounds
I'm sure there are many fabulous parks in Auckland - in fact, I've read about a few of them here. But if you're confined to the city, like I pretty much was while the hubby was working, Victoria Park is a good option. Just a five minute walk from the city, the playground is probably best for older kids but has swings and sits beside a large sunny oval if energy needs to be burned. It's right beside a yummy French bakery where you can pick up affordable, authentic Pain au Chocolat (mmmmm) and coffee, and head for a walk down to the water to gaze at boats. A nice morning out for all.
Auckland For Big Kids
We were lucky enough to nab a babysitter on a couple of occasions and discover some of the treats Auckland has for (much) older kids too...
1. The Grill by Sean Connolly
YUM. YUM. YUM. Pick a steak, any steak. Watch it arrive before you, perfectly cooked. Then cry with happiness as an assortment of sauces are placed on your plate. And don't forget the sides - try the garlic mushrooms. You won't regret it. Eat. Drink. Be oh so merry.
2. Corner Bar
Situated on the corner of the old Hotel de Brett, Corner Bar has been described as an "Auckland Icon" and is certainly a great little place to grab a drink and people watch. Grab an Uncle Chico cocktail before moving on for dinner.
3. Quay Street Cafe
We went here for breakfast with H twice, and the only reason I didn't include it in the previous section is that it wasn't overly child friendly. The staff were really nice, but they didn't really have kids options and they had no high chairs, only those ones that clip onto chairs, and even then they only have one, so if there are two toddlers in the one cafe it's game on. Now, all that aside, this may have been the best breakfast food I've EVER eaten. Big call, I know. I've eaten a LOT of breakfast food, let's face it. But this was right up there. I ordered the Chilli Fried Eggs, J ordered the House Smoked Salmon - both crazily good. I'll be honest, the second time I came here I had jam on toast, and even that was mind blowing. How do some cafes do it? This one just does.
4. Imperial Lane
Imperial Lane is kind of a cafe/bar/garage in the newly refurbished Imperial Buildings, on Fort Lane/Queen St. Their main "restaurant" type dining is ROXY, which was closed when we went, but we decided to head into Imperial Lane for an Imperial Amber Ale on tap and a very enticing looking hot dog. J had the Asian Chicken Hot Dog and I had the "Marrakesh" and wow, they were yum. In J's words "I could eat at least two more".
5. Sky Jump
Okay, so I didn't actually do the Sky Jump. I couldn't even watch people doing it, as it made me kind of sick. But I kind of wish I did. It's a 192m jump attached to a cable, so you fall upright which is way less intimidating than bungee. You fall at about 85kph for 11 seconds, which is such a short amount of time there's really no excuse for NOT doing it. Then you can, almost, say you bungee jumped in NZ!
6. The Tin Soldier, Ponsonby
We ducked in here on a rainy Sunday while H was having her midday nap for a beer and a nice lunch. Sitting right on Ponsonby Road, this is kind of a bar/restaurant, but the food is AMAZING. Most of their dishes are to share, so you can choose from smaller tapas style dishes or large mains which are designed to be distributed across a couple of plates. We had two Stoke ales on tap, the Homemade Gnocchi w/butternut, shiitake, soy bean, zuchinni, thyme, truffle & pecorino and the Braised Beef Short Ribs w/red curry, crispy shallot, mint, coriander & puffed rice. The way J described this meal was to say he'd been "Fooded," which upon further explanation turns out to be when food leaves you feeling as if you've just done the deed. Hmmmmm...
All in all, my first trip to NZ was a success. H didn't sleep on either flight, but she was pretty well behaved for a nearly-two-year-old, and made me remember how adaptable and flexible she can be. I got some me time, some couple time, and some family time - what more can you want from any holiday? - and was delighted with some new food and drink experiences as well as some touristy fun.
Auckland - You're Alright!
Z x
We've just returned from six fabulous days in Auckland. It was my first time in the city, and overall I really liked it. I have to admit, I wasn't overly pumped about going to Auckland of all places in New Zealand - I have always harboured (and still do...) desires to explore the South Island. That said, I was pleasantly surprised. It's a big, friendly, beautiful city with lots of hidden surprises.
Travelling with a child in tow is always a unique experience - it stops you from exploring certain parts of a city but opens up others. With that in mind, I've compiled my Top Auckland finds for the little kids AND the big ones!
Auckland For Kids
1. Waiheke Island
Just a 30 minute ferry ride from Auckland (which is enough fun for the kids in and of itself), the beautiful Waiheke Island is a tiny piece of paradise surrounded by beaches. Almost all of these beaches have a playground either on or near the beach. If you're looking for somewhere child friendly to eat, head straight to Solar Eatery & Bar - they have an outdoor play area and lots of toys to amuse the little ones. We were lucky enough to have a sleeping child in the pram at lunch time and decided to head to The Oyster Inn where we took advantage of their weekday $25 three course menu (I know!!) and enjoyed a few drinks in the sunshine - can not recommend this enough! When our child finally awoke they were VERY accommodating and had a number of high chairs on hand. Another couple enjoyed a similar length lunch with their younger toddler and the staff were amazing with him. If I ever go back to Auckland, I will hire a house on Waiheke for the duration. LOVED it.
2. The Pavilions at Britomart
We stumbled upon this area on our first morning in Auckland, a Saturday. While there are designer boutiques and cafes galore the area has a buzzing kiddy vibe about it - funny little sculptures for kids to play on, a Saturday market and the piece de resistance, a really cool giant water bubbler feature thingy! My particular breed of toddler COULD. NOT. GET. ENOUGH. of the water. Whenever we walked within 50 metres of the Britomart district for the following week, she would scream WATERRRRR! Which was excellent because it was about 14 degrees. Anyway, a fun place to take kids if you're stuck in the city.
3. The Sky Tower
Head up the Southern Hemisphere's tallest building, The Sky Tower. It's pretty cool. And while you may be experiencing vertigo and planted against the innermost walls, your child will most likely be throwing themselves at the glass windows about 1million feet from the ground in pure delight. H loved it here and we hung out in the tower for well over an hour. It's a buzzing tourist destination so is therefore full of children misbehaving, which is always relaxing for a parent whose own child tends to be...well...boistrous.
4. Auckland Zoo
What a lovely little zoo! Just a 10 minute drive from Auckland Central, this Zoo is actually, in my opinion, even more child friendly than Taronga. It's also much cheaper at $25 NZ for an adult. We were lucky enough to be approached by a lady who had a double pass, which meant that H and I got in for free! Which is another great thing about Auckland - the people. But I digress. This zoo is very flat so great tired for little legs. It also has a FANTASTIC kid zone complete with chicken coops, bunny rabbits, guinea pigs and other household pets as well as a huge enclosed slide, a large dragon sculpture and child sized tables with books to read. My favourite thing about this Zoo (most especially compared with Taronga) was the range of healthy and affordable lunch options. As we were travelling, we had been forced to eat SO MUCH CRAP kids food. Think, nuggets and chips. Here we picked up a lunch box with sandwich, fruit, corn chips and juice for $10 NZ (which is like seven Aussie bucks, for which you would get half a sandwich in Sydney). A must-see with kids.
5. Ponsonby Central
Ponsonby, Ponsonby, where do I begin? If Waiheke Island didn't exist and wasn't so gosh darn BEAUTIFUL, Ponsonby would without doubt be my top Auckland pick. LOVE. IT. For both eats and shopping, nothing else compares.
When it comes to kids, Ponsonby Central is the place to go. It's a buzzing little market place with street food, produce and cafes, and even a pretty groovy radio station by night. It's one of those places where you know kids can run riot in the little laneway and people are going to be okay with it. It's just got a great vibe. We came here a couple of times, most memorably one night for the most AMAZING pizza (I didn't take down the name of the joint, but it is the only pizza place there...) and H had a ball. She made fast friends with 2.5 year old Frankie the Lion, and quickly adopted her tiger persona, so the two roared at each other for a good 20 minutes while onlookers smiled accommodatingly. We drank red wine from tumblers and relaxed. Bliss.
6. Victoria Park and Surrounds
I'm sure there are many fabulous parks in Auckland - in fact, I've read about a few of them here. But if you're confined to the city, like I pretty much was while the hubby was working, Victoria Park is a good option. Just a five minute walk from the city, the playground is probably best for older kids but has swings and sits beside a large sunny oval if energy needs to be burned. It's right beside a yummy French bakery where you can pick up affordable, authentic Pain au Chocolat (mmmmm) and coffee, and head for a walk down to the water to gaze at boats. A nice morning out for all.
Auckland For Big Kids
We were lucky enough to nab a babysitter on a couple of occasions and discover some of the treats Auckland has for (much) older kids too...
1. The Grill by Sean Connolly
YUM. YUM. YUM. Pick a steak, any steak. Watch it arrive before you, perfectly cooked. Then cry with happiness as an assortment of sauces are placed on your plate. And don't forget the sides - try the garlic mushrooms. You won't regret it. Eat. Drink. Be oh so merry.
2. Corner Bar
Situated on the corner of the old Hotel de Brett, Corner Bar has been described as an "Auckland Icon" and is certainly a great little place to grab a drink and people watch. Grab an Uncle Chico cocktail before moving on for dinner.
3. Quay Street Cafe
We went here for breakfast with H twice, and the only reason I didn't include it in the previous section is that it wasn't overly child friendly. The staff were really nice, but they didn't really have kids options and they had no high chairs, only those ones that clip onto chairs, and even then they only have one, so if there are two toddlers in the one cafe it's game on. Now, all that aside, this may have been the best breakfast food I've EVER eaten. Big call, I know. I've eaten a LOT of breakfast food, let's face it. But this was right up there. I ordered the Chilli Fried Eggs, J ordered the House Smoked Salmon - both crazily good. I'll be honest, the second time I came here I had jam on toast, and even that was mind blowing. How do some cafes do it? This one just does.
4. Imperial Lane
Imperial Lane is kind of a cafe/bar/garage in the newly refurbished Imperial Buildings, on Fort Lane/Queen St. Their main "restaurant" type dining is ROXY, which was closed when we went, but we decided to head into Imperial Lane for an Imperial Amber Ale on tap and a very enticing looking hot dog. J had the Asian Chicken Hot Dog and I had the "Marrakesh" and wow, they were yum. In J's words "I could eat at least two more".
5. Sky Jump
Okay, so I didn't actually do the Sky Jump. I couldn't even watch people doing it, as it made me kind of sick. But I kind of wish I did. It's a 192m jump attached to a cable, so you fall upright which is way less intimidating than bungee. You fall at about 85kph for 11 seconds, which is such a short amount of time there's really no excuse for NOT doing it. Then you can, almost, say you bungee jumped in NZ!
6. The Tin Soldier, Ponsonby
We ducked in here on a rainy Sunday while H was having her midday nap for a beer and a nice lunch. Sitting right on Ponsonby Road, this is kind of a bar/restaurant, but the food is AMAZING. Most of their dishes are to share, so you can choose from smaller tapas style dishes or large mains which are designed to be distributed across a couple of plates. We had two Stoke ales on tap, the Homemade Gnocchi w/butternut, shiitake, soy bean, zuchinni, thyme, truffle & pecorino and the Braised Beef Short Ribs w/red curry, crispy shallot, mint, coriander & puffed rice. The way J described this meal was to say he'd been "Fooded," which upon further explanation turns out to be when food leaves you feeling as if you've just done the deed. Hmmmmm...
All in all, my first trip to NZ was a success. H didn't sleep on either flight, but she was pretty well behaved for a nearly-two-year-old, and made me remember how adaptable and flexible she can be. I got some me time, some couple time, and some family time - what more can you want from any holiday? - and was delighted with some new food and drink experiences as well as some touristy fun.
Auckland - You're Alright!
Z x
Thursday, June 6, 2013
The Question of Manners
As someone who has worked as both a teacher and a nanny, I have seen many sides to many kids. I have seen a full classroom of kids, that's 30 separate children, behave like absolute monsters. I've seen these same 13-year-old kids (boys!) outside of school holding hands with their Dad. I have seen the normally sweet, mild mannered little girl I nannied be incredibly rude and mean to her friends on occasion.
So I guess my point here is, no child is perfect. I've always told myself to remember this, because there's nothing worse than a parent who can't see faults in their kids.
When I was younger, our parents never assumed we were in the right when it came to disagreements with our mates. In fact, my Mum usually assumed I was in the wrong, and she was usually right because I was an incredibly bossy and forthright kid. Even though I sometimes hated her for automatically assuming I'd done or said something naughty, it taught me an important parenting lesson - remember, your child is flawed.
Sit down and have a think about all of your flaws. All of your husband's flaws. All of your best friend's flaws. I'm willing to bet my savings that none of you are perfect. So it makes sense that the same is true of your kids.
I was reading this article on Mamamia today in which the author recounted punishing another child's bad manners. The author wondered if she'd overreacted. Absolutely not, I thought - you have to call bad manners out where you see them, and I frequently do, if somewhat more forcefully with my own child than others'. But reading the comments on the article, a trend begins to appear - about 80% of the commenters are perfect parents with perfect children! What do you know?!
It's frustrating to read the comments because when you really look at them, so many parents are pointing out that their kids are really well mannered, but none of their friends are. What is wrong with all these friends' parents? Huh?! I'm guessing they are also posting about their child's perfect manners (but that other kid, the original commenter's kid? What a potty mouth!)
I guess the point I want to make is that in my sizeable test pool, not one child I have worked with is perfect. Not ONE. Yes, some are worse than others. Some make me want to come home and administer an alcohol drip, whereas others' behaviour can be cured with a stern look. Good parenting DOES matter, in fact it's the most important thing - some of the best advice I received as a teacher was that the students with good parents can always be put in place with the threat of a call home to Mum. The ones with not so good parents will tell you they don't give a f@#! - and they'll say f@#!.
Good manners are essential in life. If you don't have manners, you won't have friends. Or, likely, a job. By all means, fly the flag for good manners. Reprimand other kids. But try not to forget that no one's perfect - not even your precious baby.
Z x
So I guess my point here is, no child is perfect. I've always told myself to remember this, because there's nothing worse than a parent who can't see faults in their kids.
When I was younger, our parents never assumed we were in the right when it came to disagreements with our mates. In fact, my Mum usually assumed I was in the wrong, and she was usually right because I was an incredibly bossy and forthright kid. Even though I sometimes hated her for automatically assuming I'd done or said something naughty, it taught me an important parenting lesson - remember, your child is flawed.
Sit down and have a think about all of your flaws. All of your husband's flaws. All of your best friend's flaws. I'm willing to bet my savings that none of you are perfect. So it makes sense that the same is true of your kids.
I was reading this article on Mamamia today in which the author recounted punishing another child's bad manners. The author wondered if she'd overreacted. Absolutely not, I thought - you have to call bad manners out where you see them, and I frequently do, if somewhat more forcefully with my own child than others'. But reading the comments on the article, a trend begins to appear - about 80% of the commenters are perfect parents with perfect children! What do you know?!
It's frustrating to read the comments because when you really look at them, so many parents are pointing out that their kids are really well mannered, but none of their friends are. What is wrong with all these friends' parents? Huh?! I'm guessing they are also posting about their child's perfect manners (but that other kid, the original commenter's kid? What a potty mouth!)
I guess the point I want to make is that in my sizeable test pool, not one child I have worked with is perfect. Not ONE. Yes, some are worse than others. Some make me want to come home and administer an alcohol drip, whereas others' behaviour can be cured with a stern look. Good parenting DOES matter, in fact it's the most important thing - some of the best advice I received as a teacher was that the students with good parents can always be put in place with the threat of a call home to Mum. The ones with not so good parents will tell you they don't give a f@#! - and they'll say f@#!.
Good manners are essential in life. If you don't have manners, you won't have friends. Or, likely, a job. By all means, fly the flag for good manners. Reprimand other kids. But try not to forget that no one's perfect - not even your precious baby.
Z x
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Travelling Toddler
At age 13, I was one of those kids who'd never left the country. Heck, I'd never even been on a PLANE - and I was fine with that, really! In fact, in my mind I'd have been happy marrying a local boy, settling down and moving into the house next door to my parents, where I would live happily forever more.
Alas, that's not quite how my life panned out. I took my first plane trip that very year and was literally sick with fear the entire time. Fifteen years on I STILL have mild anxiety boarding a plane, despite having flown on many, MANY planes. You see, I ended up marrying a German who lists "Travelling" at the top of his list of interests. Thus began a life of being pushed out of my comfort zone time and time again.
So it is that my dear little daughter is about to travel to her SIXTH international destination in less than two years. Come September, three days after her second birthday, we'll make that seven. And that's if my husband doesn't manage to convince me to meet his family in Thailand next month (second mortgage, anyone?).
I never would have thought I'd be the type of Mum who could consider herself an expert on travelling with babies and toddlers, yet here I am. Kind of an expert! Well, not really. I'm not all that good at it. I forget things. I stress. I worry. I fight with my husband. But we have fun.
I'm planning to spend the better part of the day packing for six days in New Zealand, in winter. I'm shivering just thinking about it. Anyway, what better way to prepare than to share my top ten tips for travelling with a toddler?
Here they are:
1) You can never be too prepared - Write a list. Get your husband to write a list. Get your Mum and your neighbour to write lists. Cross-check all lists. Wait three days. Write another list. Now you're getting there.
2) You can also never be too unprepared - At the end of the day, if you forget seven items on your list you can always buy them there*. Breathe.
3) A well stocked carry on/carry around bag is ESSENTIAL - I truly believe that this is the most important ingredient for travelling. Once your other luggage is stowed away, or back at your hotel room when you're on a tour hours away, there are NO MORE NAPPIES. There are NO MORE SNACKS (particularly if you're in Asia and can't for the life of you find toddler appropriate food). It's good to have a list of carry bag essentials (nappies, wipes, water, snacks, toys etc.) and cross check the list every time you leave the house on your holiday. Trust me - just trust me.
4) IPAD - Just iPad. You know what I'm sayin'. Here is a pretty great list of the best iPad apps for toddlers, but I find an abundance of Peppa Pig and In The Night Garden to be particularly useful.
5) You can never be too pushy - You know back before you had kids, those parents who were just PAINFUL because they always had to get to the front of the line, had to ask if you could swap seats with them, just HAD to get to the bathroom before you? Be that parent. When you're travelling, little things like an extra seat on the plane or pre-boarding can make the WORLD of difference to your stress levels and, in turn, everyone's enjoyment of the holiday. It doesn't hurt to ask.
6) Get in early - When you're travelling, it's often a case of "first in, best dressed". This applies to seats on planes and buses, bassinet access, placement at shows and events and so on. If you have a 10 month old who would sleep the night on the plane in a bassinet, you need to do EVERYTHING you can to get that bassinet! I'm talking rocking up a good three hours early. It is worth every minute of your time.
7) Consider Qantas Club Membership - You can pay for membership to the Qantas club, which can also be achieved by Frequent Flyer status. If you're looking at a good 2-3 hours in an airport with kids, there's no better place to spend it than in Qantas Club. There's tons of healthy food free for the picking, computers for playing, lounges for sleeping, Wifi and even Xbox. There's always a family zone where kids can just run wild, and in the Platinum/First lounge (where we will be going for the first time this Friday - hooray nomadic husband!) there are even SHOWERS. I've been telling everyone for weeks how I plan to shower H and put her in her PJ's before our 7pm flight. I hope I'm not going to be underwhelmed...
8) Think about buying a baby backpack - These are fantastic for travelling, particularly if you're in places that aren't great for prams. Ours is the "Tatonka" brand, but I've heard the "Ergo Baby Carriers" are better on the back - I'm hoping to borrow one from a friend for this trip.
9) Don't forget your pram!!! - When we went to Fiji over new years, we forgot our pram!!! Admittedly we dashed off early in the morning after arriving home from Christmas at my parents the night before - we weren't prepared (see points one and two). Luckily for us, many of the larger chain hotels and resorts lend prams, and ours did. Still, we really missed it at the airport, particularly as H was very much at that hard to tame age of 15 months (or, I should say, she was a particularly hard to tame 15 month old). My recommendation is to buy a cheap little fold out stroller just for travelling - it's $20-100 you won't regret spending, and if you don't have one you may find it handier for a toddler in general anyway (I love my MacLaren!).
10) RELAX - Take lots of pictures. Or don't. Have lots of cuddles. Skip the museum for a run in the park. Eat sugar. Feed your child sugar. Embrace muddy clothes. Don't make the bed. Commit every second to memory, because these times are precious, these moments are fleeting, and life is short.
Happy travels!
Z xx
Alas, that's not quite how my life panned out. I took my first plane trip that very year and was literally sick with fear the entire time. Fifteen years on I STILL have mild anxiety boarding a plane, despite having flown on many, MANY planes. You see, I ended up marrying a German who lists "Travelling" at the top of his list of interests. Thus began a life of being pushed out of my comfort zone time and time again.
So it is that my dear little daughter is about to travel to her SIXTH international destination in less than two years. Come September, three days after her second birthday, we'll make that seven. And that's if my husband doesn't manage to convince me to meet his family in Thailand next month (second mortgage, anyone?).
I never would have thought I'd be the type of Mum who could consider herself an expert on travelling with babies and toddlers, yet here I am. Kind of an expert! Well, not really. I'm not all that good at it. I forget things. I stress. I worry. I fight with my husband. But we have fun.
I'm planning to spend the better part of the day packing for six days in New Zealand, in winter. I'm shivering just thinking about it. Anyway, what better way to prepare than to share my top ten tips for travelling with a toddler?
Here they are:
1) You can never be too prepared - Write a list. Get your husband to write a list. Get your Mum and your neighbour to write lists. Cross-check all lists. Wait three days. Write another list. Now you're getting there.
2) You can also never be too unprepared - At the end of the day, if you forget seven items on your list you can always buy them there*. Breathe.
3) A well stocked carry on/carry around bag is ESSENTIAL - I truly believe that this is the most important ingredient for travelling. Once your other luggage is stowed away, or back at your hotel room when you're on a tour hours away, there are NO MORE NAPPIES. There are NO MORE SNACKS (particularly if you're in Asia and can't for the life of you find toddler appropriate food). It's good to have a list of carry bag essentials (nappies, wipes, water, snacks, toys etc.) and cross check the list every time you leave the house on your holiday. Trust me - just trust me.
4) IPAD - Just iPad. You know what I'm sayin'. Here is a pretty great list of the best iPad apps for toddlers, but I find an abundance of Peppa Pig and In The Night Garden to be particularly useful.
5) You can never be too pushy - You know back before you had kids, those parents who were just PAINFUL because they always had to get to the front of the line, had to ask if you could swap seats with them, just HAD to get to the bathroom before you? Be that parent. When you're travelling, little things like an extra seat on the plane or pre-boarding can make the WORLD of difference to your stress levels and, in turn, everyone's enjoyment of the holiday. It doesn't hurt to ask.
6) Get in early - When you're travelling, it's often a case of "first in, best dressed". This applies to seats on planes and buses, bassinet access, placement at shows and events and so on. If you have a 10 month old who would sleep the night on the plane in a bassinet, you need to do EVERYTHING you can to get that bassinet! I'm talking rocking up a good three hours early. It is worth every minute of your time.
7) Consider Qantas Club Membership - You can pay for membership to the Qantas club, which can also be achieved by Frequent Flyer status. If you're looking at a good 2-3 hours in an airport with kids, there's no better place to spend it than in Qantas Club. There's tons of healthy food free for the picking, computers for playing, lounges for sleeping, Wifi and even Xbox. There's always a family zone where kids can just run wild, and in the Platinum/First lounge (where we will be going for the first time this Friday - hooray nomadic husband!) there are even SHOWERS. I've been telling everyone for weeks how I plan to shower H and put her in her PJ's before our 7pm flight. I hope I'm not going to be underwhelmed...
8) Think about buying a baby backpack - These are fantastic for travelling, particularly if you're in places that aren't great for prams. Ours is the "Tatonka" brand, but I've heard the "Ergo Baby Carriers" are better on the back - I'm hoping to borrow one from a friend for this trip.
9) Don't forget your pram!!! - When we went to Fiji over new years, we forgot our pram!!! Admittedly we dashed off early in the morning after arriving home from Christmas at my parents the night before - we weren't prepared (see points one and two). Luckily for us, many of the larger chain hotels and resorts lend prams, and ours did. Still, we really missed it at the airport, particularly as H was very much at that hard to tame age of 15 months (or, I should say, she was a particularly hard to tame 15 month old). My recommendation is to buy a cheap little fold out stroller just for travelling - it's $20-100 you won't regret spending, and if you don't have one you may find it handier for a toddler in general anyway (I love my MacLaren!).
10) RELAX - Take lots of pictures. Or don't. Have lots of cuddles. Skip the museum for a run in the park. Eat sugar. Feed your child sugar. Embrace muddy clothes. Don't make the bed. Commit every second to memory, because these times are precious, these moments are fleeting, and life is short.
Happy travels!
Z xx
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Swiper No Swiping
The title of this post is inspired by a recent experience in music class. We've been going to music since H was not quite 6 months old, and we love it. As you can imagine, after more than a year of attendance H not only knows the drill but rules the roost. It's in her personality - she loves to show off and be the boss, and is usually the dominant personality in any group or pairing (sigh). I already genuinely feel sorry for her future teachers.
We've just started a new term and are in our last term of 1-2 years classes, so not only is H the second oldest and bossiest in the group, but there was an influx of unfamiliar, younger toddlers.
This didn't sit well with our Madame (whose name means "Ruler of the House" - what were we thinking?!). Unfortunately, whenever things aren't quite going her way she tends to lash out. And by lash out, I mean hit.
I have what is probably the textbook "wrong" reaction to these outbursts, which is to reprimand her loudly, force her to say sorry and then apologise effusively to the parents and victim. Recently the carers at daycare have told me to say "It makes Milly feel sad when you hit her, and it hurts - don't hit", and I do try this. It's just not that easy to react rationally when you feel the wrath of a wounded parent (whose child, incidentally, couldn't care less) bearing down on you.
Anyway, on this particular occassion H hit a little girl who was probably a few months younger than her, and her Mum reacted by firmly saying"Swiper no Swiping!"!?! I think the Mum just genuinely didn't know how to react, much as I don't know how to react on the other end, but I couldn't help but laugh. We are big Dora fans in our house and the reprimand made H squeal with delight.
Being the mother of a little swiper isn't easy though, let me tell you! You constantly feel judged, worried and terrified of playgrounds. You're always wondering if you're reacting appropriately, if you're strict enough, if there's something off in their moral fibre that makes them physically abusive and if all the other parents are whispering about your violent child behind your back! While I know logically that MANY toddlers hit, push or bite, it can frequently feel like yours is the only one.
Visiting a play centre two weeks ago, we were on the other end of the exchange. H was playing happily with a toy train when a much smaller toddler (about 14 months) approached her and latched onto her hand - with his mouth! He bit her pretty hard and sort of gnawed on her hand for a couple of seconds. It all happened pretty quickly but by the time I stepped in she was devastated and had some pretty impressive bite marks on her little hand.
The boy's mother was horrified and had been distracted by her two older kids fighting. I felt for her. I have walked MANY miles in her shoes (well, somewhat less bitey and more hitty shoes) and realistically know there is no way you can control a 14 month old's behaviour, only encourage the good and discourage the bad. I'm sure this little boy will bite a few more kids before he learns it's not on.
Still, it's not nice to see your child get hurt. I was really understanding with the little boy's Mum and agreed that yes, they all do it. She seemed to appreciate that. But I did gain some insight into how it feels to see your child be on the receiving end. So I guess I'll be a little more understanding of those glowering mothers in the future!
Z x
We've just started a new term and are in our last term of 1-2 years classes, so not only is H the second oldest and bossiest in the group, but there was an influx of unfamiliar, younger toddlers.
This didn't sit well with our Madame (whose name means "Ruler of the House" - what were we thinking?!). Unfortunately, whenever things aren't quite going her way she tends to lash out. And by lash out, I mean hit.
I have what is probably the textbook "wrong" reaction to these outbursts, which is to reprimand her loudly, force her to say sorry and then apologise effusively to the parents and victim. Recently the carers at daycare have told me to say "It makes Milly feel sad when you hit her, and it hurts - don't hit", and I do try this. It's just not that easy to react rationally when you feel the wrath of a wounded parent (whose child, incidentally, couldn't care less) bearing down on you.
Anyway, on this particular occassion H hit a little girl who was probably a few months younger than her, and her Mum reacted by firmly saying"Swiper no Swiping!"!?! I think the Mum just genuinely didn't know how to react, much as I don't know how to react on the other end, but I couldn't help but laugh. We are big Dora fans in our house and the reprimand made H squeal with delight.
Being the mother of a little swiper isn't easy though, let me tell you! You constantly feel judged, worried and terrified of playgrounds. You're always wondering if you're reacting appropriately, if you're strict enough, if there's something off in their moral fibre that makes them physically abusive and if all the other parents are whispering about your violent child behind your back! While I know logically that MANY toddlers hit, push or bite, it can frequently feel like yours is the only one.
Visiting a play centre two weeks ago, we were on the other end of the exchange. H was playing happily with a toy train when a much smaller toddler (about 14 months) approached her and latched onto her hand - with his mouth! He bit her pretty hard and sort of gnawed on her hand for a couple of seconds. It all happened pretty quickly but by the time I stepped in she was devastated and had some pretty impressive bite marks on her little hand.
The boy's mother was horrified and had been distracted by her two older kids fighting. I felt for her. I have walked MANY miles in her shoes (well, somewhat less bitey and more hitty shoes) and realistically know there is no way you can control a 14 month old's behaviour, only encourage the good and discourage the bad. I'm sure this little boy will bite a few more kids before he learns it's not on.
Still, it's not nice to see your child get hurt. I was really understanding with the little boy's Mum and agreed that yes, they all do it. She seemed to appreciate that. But I did gain some insight into how it feels to see your child be on the receiving end. So I guess I'll be a little more understanding of those glowering mothers in the future!
Z x
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Slack Mum
In a former life, I worked as a Nanny. I really enjoyed this job but was ready to move on by the end - looking after someone else's child isn't always rosy! My "charge" if you will was the six year old daughter of a very successful single Mum. I feel SO ashamed to admit this now but I quite often thought this lovely Mum could be a bit slack at times. She was an awesome Mum but working full time meant she didn't really have her finger on the pulse when it came to school life - parents reading time, canteen, mufty days etc.
Since having my own child I have realised two things;
1) Never, ever judge a single Mum, ever, and;
2) Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
YES, that's right, I am a slack Mum. You know, the type who always has rotten food in the bottom of the nappy bag. The type who can't guarantee the water in her daughter's bottle isn't, like, three weeks old. The type who FORGETS major events in their child's life.
Today, I forgot that it was Crazy Hair Day at daycare. I rocked up to find a woman I've never met before with long, teased hair in two Pippy Longstockinngs style ponytails at the sides of her head. Well, here's a character, I thought. Good for her.
As I rounded the corner and caught a glimpse of H's favourite carer sporting a similar 'do, realisation dawned. It's Wednesday. Wednesday 29th May. I have received SEVERAL communications in the past week informing me that Wednesday 29th May is indeed Crazy Hair Day. Fuck.
Nothing in my life to this date could have prepared me for the guilt and sorrow I would feel as three toddlers entered the room behind us with a blue mohawk, numerous braids and an abundance of curled ribbons respectively. When H is the only girl not invited to Stella's 8th Birthday party, I may need to be placed on suicide watch.
Anyway, I never pictured myself being 'that' mother. I really thought I'd be, you know, the canteen Mum, the volunteer Mum, the Mother's Day Stall organising Mum. I think we all want to be theperfect mother who always has a fresh slice baking in the oven and perfect, blow dried hair. You know, before we have kids and discover we are lucky to get out of the house in a clean outfit.
I have a new ambition. Since it seems inevitable that I will be the mother who loses permission slips, has live organisms living in her car and runs out of hairbands on a weekly basis, I'm going to be the fun Mum. You know, the one who doesn't give a shit about food in the car because she's too busy singing along to Taylor Swift with her daughter and all her friends. The Mum who lets the kids take drinks upstairs. The Mum who doesn't always need hairbands, because life's too short to worry about messy hair and who knows, it just might be crazy hair day.
Z x
Since having my own child I have realised two things;
1) Never, ever judge a single Mum, ever, and;
2) Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones.
YES, that's right, I am a slack Mum. You know, the type who always has rotten food in the bottom of the nappy bag. The type who can't guarantee the water in her daughter's bottle isn't, like, three weeks old. The type who FORGETS major events in their child's life.
Today, I forgot that it was Crazy Hair Day at daycare. I rocked up to find a woman I've never met before with long, teased hair in two Pippy Longstockinngs style ponytails at the sides of her head. Well, here's a character, I thought. Good for her.
As I rounded the corner and caught a glimpse of H's favourite carer sporting a similar 'do, realisation dawned. It's Wednesday. Wednesday 29th May. I have received SEVERAL communications in the past week informing me that Wednesday 29th May is indeed Crazy Hair Day. Fuck.
Nothing in my life to this date could have prepared me for the guilt and sorrow I would feel as three toddlers entered the room behind us with a blue mohawk, numerous braids and an abundance of curled ribbons respectively. When H is the only girl not invited to Stella's 8th Birthday party, I may need to be placed on suicide watch.
Anyway, I never pictured myself being 'that' mother. I really thought I'd be, you know, the canteen Mum, the volunteer Mum, the Mother's Day Stall organising Mum. I think we all want to be theperfect mother who always has a fresh slice baking in the oven and perfect, blow dried hair. You know, before we have kids and discover we are lucky to get out of the house in a clean outfit.
I have a new ambition. Since it seems inevitable that I will be the mother who loses permission slips, has live organisms living in her car and runs out of hairbands on a weekly basis, I'm going to be the fun Mum. You know, the one who doesn't give a shit about food in the car because she's too busy singing along to Taylor Swift with her daughter and all her friends. The Mum who lets the kids take drinks upstairs. The Mum who doesn't always need hairbands, because life's too short to worry about messy hair and who knows, it just might be crazy hair day.
Z x
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