Mummy Feels Sad

Today has been interesting, to say the least. I woke up this morning before anyone else, had a shower and got ready for the day. I was feeling really organised and happy, singing and laughing as everyone else woke up and I got breakfast ready. Doesn't this just set the scene for imminent stress?!

Miss H woke up in a great mood too, but as soon as we got to music class she just was not having it. Who knows why? Maybe someone looked at her the wrong way, but given her behaviour later in the day I'm guessing she was having a bad day and just not in the mood. Anyway, she was being her usual CHARMING grumpy self, which is not very nice at all, and I was dealing with it as best I could by intervening and saying sorry and giving "time outs with Mum" and all that happy stuff.

Next thing I'm briefly engaged in conversation when Swiper, No Swiping Mother strikes again! She grabs H's arm, gets right up in her grill, points a finger in her face and says "NO!", loud and firm, three times.

Let's be clear, I know my child isn't perfect. I blogged about it recently and I'm even aware that hey, she is probably less perfect than other kids when it comes to lashing out - it's something in her personality that she will need to learn to control with age. She wears her heart firmly on her sleeve. She is just as likely to run up and plant a kiss on another child's lips as she is to run up and hit them in the face. Which, unfortunately, is pretty likely.

Still, I can't be crazy in thinking that NO mother has the right to touch or raise their voice to my child while I am right there, or just in general. Ever. I also can't fight the visceral reaction I had, which was to feel incredibly protective and upset on my daughter's behalf.

My reaction was to say nothing, despite at least three other mothers looking at me with raised eyebrows and bulging eyeballs. I couldn't risk getting upset and saying something silly. I just pulled H aside and onto my lap, whispering "You must be nice to your friends, have some time out with Mum," but also planting a big kiss on her forehead. I can't imagine it's nice to have a stranger raise their voice at you.

Unfortunately, H's reaction was to become upset, refuse to participate in any other activities, walk over to another little boy and HEADBUTT him. I was MORTIFIED. Completely mortified. So was this boy's mother.

Okay, I'm not going to go over-the-top in defense of my child who was clearly in the wrong but I will say two things. Number one, she is not even two. Not even two years old. Number two, other people interfering does NOT help matters. It makes them worse in many ways.

I am ALL FOR other parents stepping in when situations are getting out of hand or children are behaving badly. But if it's not your child, you tread carefully, no? I have frequently been in situations where it is MY child being bullied, and I usually say something like "We don't hit our friends, guys." Not "NO, NO, NO!" with a friendly grab of the wrist.

Anyway, I made her say sorry to the little boy and we promptly packed up and left. I couldn't deal. Plus, I guess it was a form of punishment, although personally I think she couldn't wait to get out of there.

AAAAAAAAAH it feels nice to get this off my chest. My girlfriend has recommended confronting Swiper No Swiping woman next week but ultimately I just don't think it's worth it. It's the last week of term, we are moving up into the two year old group and hopefully H will be able to pick on kids or own size - or better yet, they'll give her a taste of her own medicine here and there. It can't hurt!

Meanwhile, we had a huge tantrum when we got home which resulted in a head-vs-concrete situation, and H is now sporting a big purple egg on her head. She was so distraught in the wake of the accident that I ended up in tears myself, which put HER tears to an immediate stop - it made me realise that the daycare centre's advice to say "Mummy feels sad" when things get out of control will probably come in very handy.

So, Mummy does feel a bit sad today. But it's Friday, Daddy is home soon, the Wiggles are on, and let's face it - I have lots to be happy about.

Z x