I try to stand back from the whole social media thing as much as possible. I use it but I don't let everyone know what I'm having for breakfast and I try not to be too opinionated about anything - that's what my blog is for!
I LOVE Twitter for the fact that I follow some really interesting people and brands, so it keeps me up to date on news, current affairs, random trends and great buys or bargains. I far prefer Twitter over Facebook in this sense, although Facebook also has its place. I enjoy getting updates from people I don't see too often and can get sucked into the voyeurism of it, although recently I feel like it's just a breeding ground for bragging and bitching.
Sadly, this has become increasingly evident since I became a Mum. I'd actually deleted my Facebook account prior to this but decided to sign up again when my new mother's group decided to create a page - which, it must be said, has been a LIFESAVING resource for information, support and friendship. Still, more and more of my Facebook friends are now mothers, and more and more of the pages I follow are targeted at parents.
Recently I'd noticed that many of these pages were becoming pretty catty. I even noticed one friend, who I only know through family and is more of an acquaintance, continually posting negative comments on some of the "Mummy" forums she follows, which I'm not sure if she realises pops up in others' news feeds. One page that I have followed since day one on my motherhood journey and is responsible for many of my online shopping purchases, Babyology, also showcased a disturbing trend towards judgement and downright abuse.
The kinds of things I'm talking about is people saying a photo of a Dad holding a bottle with his chin is "awful". "Disgusting". People calling a mother "irresponsible" and "stupid," saying she should be "ashamed" because she wore her baby front facing in a Bjorn carrier - apparently bad for the hips. It's getting to be more than I can stand.
Thankfully, Babyology have been all over the news this week after their decision to delete negative or abusive comments and block repeat offenders. Most have welcomed this decision, because of course most of us are normal people who are able to function in society without being rude, judgemental and even threatening. But the amount of people out there who can't seem to do this is getting kind of frightening.
I would definitely welcome laws proposed by former Chief Justice Alistair Nicholson, who wants to make cyber bullying punishable by law. Personally I would probably cry myself to sleep if a stranger called me disgusting on Facebook for a simple parenting choice or hell, even something I was wearing, so these people need to learn their comments can be harmful and be punished accordingly.
What I'm REALLY interested in, though, is why women (because it's mostly women, let's face it) feel compelled to behave in this way. Do people genuinely feel that others should be ashamed because they choose to do things differently to them? Or are they just uneducated? Misinformed? I'd love to see some kind of study into the issue.
I know for me it's amazing how an image or article about parenting that shows things a little differently to my own experience can sometimes bring up strong feelings of guilt, remorse, or even smugness. Certainly there are things I've done along the way that really worked for me, and when I see others doing things differently I do feel like putting my two cents in and offering advice or an opinion - but I try to keep my mouth shut, because really people are capable of making their own decisions, even if I think they're mistakes.
That said, there are also things I felt I could have done differently, so occasionally I have the opposite feeling, something like inadequacy. I wonder if some of these women are simply reacting to similar feelings within themselves, with little thought to how they might look or sound voicing them aloud? Perhaps people are still not aware of just how PUBLIC social media is, and instead view it as an anonymous medium on which to vent. Little do they realise they'd be far better off shouting it in their best friend's face than typing it for the world to see behind the perceived "safety" of their computer screen.
Regardless of the why, I think social media junkies in general could take a leaf out of my Grandmother's book - if you don't have anything nice to say, refrain from saying anything at all.
Z x
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