When My Husband Cooks

Like many mothers/wives/women in general, I often feel chained to my kitchen. It's the centre of our home and between breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks, plus countless cups of tea and sneaky trips to the fridge, it's where I spend the greater part of my days. Sometimes this all gets a little too much and I decide I need to do anything possible to avoid it, e.g. duck up to the local Sushi place.

Not to say that I don't love cooking - I do. I have a longstanding love affair with food - reading about it, making it and mostly eating it - and was one of those teenagers who actually asked to be gifted with cookbooks (and clothes!). These days though I don't choose to be in the kitchen so much as I'm obligated to in order to provide sustenance for like, a family. And I don't exactly have time to prepare a complex three course meal, at least not on weekdays. GOD ISN'T MY LIFE TOUGH?!

As you can see above I am quite a whinger, so my dear husband has clearly got the point that I get over cooking. As he is a dear and is always looking for ways to make my life easier, he usually offers to take over cooking duties on weekends. But often, like last night, this can be a chore too.

Now my husband isn't a bad cook. In fact, he's a great cook. He just doesn't do it that often. And when he does, he's a stickler for a recipe. He's one of those people that if a recipe stipulates carrots should be cut into 1cm pieces, he would measure them and they would all be the same. Me, on the other hand, well my version would have various sized chunks. Possibly even the top of the carrot. Come to think of it, I guess our differing approaches to cooking says a lot about our differing approaches to life!

So, because he doesn't cook a lot, and because he actually doesn't use the kitchen a lot, and because he's not great at freestyling, his cooking can take...well...time. There are some techniques he could use refreshing on...and he causes me to almost sound like my mother, with thoughts like "If I want something done I might as well do it myself" flashing through my mind before I, thankfully, stop them from reaching my mouth. 

To explain what I mean let me relay last night's scene:

J: "I'm going to cook tonight! Here's the recipe, you just cross off what we already have."

Z: "Okay..."

J: "Alright, H and I are going shopping, you relax!" (See he is a dear)

------  Time passes --------

J: "We're back! Okay now you watch H while I get this started."

Z: "Okay..."

J: "Um...do we have potatoes?"

Z: "Not unless you just bought potatoes?"

J: "SHIT. I forgot the potatoes. I need potatoes."

Z: "Alright, you get started and I will go back to the shops to get potatoes." (Feeling less relaxed)

-------- Time passes ---------

J: (Presents me with packet of cloves, labelled CLOVES.) "Are these cardomom pods?"

Z: "No, they're cloves"

J: "SHIT. We don't have cardomom pods."

Z: "Why don't you substitute it with ground cardomom?"

J: "...nah. I'm going to use these cloves."

Z: "Okay..."

------- Times passes ----------

J: "Should this be thickening?"

Z: "What does the recipe say?"

J: "It doesn't say anything about thickening but this doesn't look thick...I have to thicken it...how do you thicken it?"

Z: "Why don't you try turning the heat up and taking the lid off?"

J: "Okay...can you do it for me? And can you keep an eye on it for me?"

Z: "Okay..."

------ Time passes --------

J: "Have you seen the lid to the rice cooker?"

Z: "No, but it would be where it always is."

J: "I've looked there. It's not there."

Z: "Try the drawer next to it."

J: "I looked there too. It isn't there." (Sighs huffily and makes lots of noise)

Z: (Gets up, moves to look in drawer where lid is kept. Lid is sitting at top of drawer inside a bowl. First thing Z sees). "I found it!"

J: "Oh thanks, where was it!?"

Z: "It was literally on top of everything."

J: "Oh..."


Aren't I a harsh critic?! But really, sometimes I do think it would be easier if I just stayed in the kitchen. That said, reading this back it sounds a LOT like conversations between my Dad, who taught me to cook, and myself as a teenager. And Dad never kicked me out of the kitchen - he just kept answering my annoying questions until eventually, I didn't need to ask them anymore. I still call him when I have a kitchen mishap, desperately seeking advice - "WHY is my dough not rising?!" And he's still willing to help out.

So in future when my husband cooks, I will try to feel flattered that he needs my advice!

Z x